Friday, July 3, 2009 the squeaky smooth variety

A new box of sex toys in the mail is always fun. My latest package from PinkCherry.com Sex Toys (who have now opened a Canadian duty-free branch of their store here) contained something I have been wanting to try for a long time - a Tantus dildo. My experience with Tantus items has been very pleasurable so far: the Ryder is still one of my favorite toys. In my opinion, 100% silicone toys are at the top of the desirable materials list, alongside all the greats (wood, metal, glass - oh, by the way, when you read "great," read "expensive"). Therefore I was more than happy to give the Acute a go.

At 6" long and 4" around, the Acute is a comfortable, great sized dildo. I can't see it posing much of a challenge for the average woman, especially if inserted with the aid of a lubricant (non-silicone based only). It is not a slender toy, but it's length and girth are a proportionate, nice medium. I was able to insert it with ease without lubrication while aroused, but adding a bit of lube always makes things a little more fun and smooth. And smooth, certainly, is what Tantus is all about. Their style of silicone is of the squeaky smooth variety. Like all silicone, it is a dust magnet, but if you store the Acute in something as simple as a plastic ziploc bag, you can avoid a sticky situation. The smooth texture of the Acute feels great and is nonabrasive - it doesn't cling to the skin or cause any discomfort during thrusting, which is an excellent feature.

The Acute is a nice balance between a "realistic" looking dildo, and a cute looking dildo. It does have something of a pronounced head, it does seem to match the size and shape of an average male penis, and it does curve upward - but all of these things are also combined with fun, sparkly colors and a slightly wavy texture throughout the shaft. The curve on the Acute is more pronounced than many of Tantus' other dildos, making it a great toy for G-spot play. Two elements of the Acute caused it to fall short of being a GREAT G-spot toy for me, however. First of all, the head is streamlined into the shaft, and for G-spot stimulation, I require a bit more of a "bump" between the head and shaft. Secondly, the silicone is flexible and, once again, has something like the consistency of a real penis. I need something a bit harder (like glass) to deliver a G-spot orgasm.

However, the Acute fit me like a glove. It is a very comfortable toy and the shape feels absolutely great whether you're keeping it in place or thrusting in and out of the vagina. I have yet to try the toy anally, but because it is 100% silicone and therefore sterilizable, it can go between orifices and even partners as long as it is placed in the dishwasher or boiled for at least three minutes between uses.

There are no limits with the Tantus Acute. Because of its flared base, the Acute is harness-compatible and fit nicely in my Jaguar harness. This was great for role-reversal play, because I finally got to wear a cock that was the size and shape of something a little more real (compared to my much smaller Tantus Small silk). Although the Acute hasn't made it into all of the orifices in our relationship, it has passed between the mouths of my boyfriend and I and the feel of Tantus silicone on the tongue is yet another steamy sensation not to be missed.

Monday, May 18, 2009 new york times

We fall together on a flat leather couch and finally feel our tongues meet together. This kissing, this rise in a heart beat, this groping of hands tightly at my beasts and my hand sliding up his thigh - it never lasted more than five minutes, just enough to make our blood boil, but quickly extinguished as other people came and went rom the room and we had to hide our amorousness. For hours throughout their show we wound up heated and unable to really connect ourselves as we wished, but not frustrated. We were elated, like school children, just to sneak a kiss.

That night we stayed in Brooklyn with a friend of the drummer's. She was sloppily intoxicated but hospitable. She went to bed in a room next to the living room where we were to sleep. Everyone else went out for a night cap. We were alone on the couch - but the girl's room had an open gap in the wall before it me the ceiling, and we shared a sphere of sound with her. Our bodies were pressed tight, my back to his chest, and my hips couldn't help moving against him. His hand slipped under my nightgown and into my underwear. I lost my breath. I held it to keep silent as his fingers massaged my clit and turned me on instantly. I moved against him as vigorously as I could while remaining silent. I struggled to pull my underwear down around my knees without lifting the small blanket off of us and moved his hand to thrust his fingers inside my pussy. I felt myself grow wetter instantly. It was almost too much to feel him inside me again.

Breathlessly, with only a slight rustling, he brought me to orgasm, the threat of the others returning growing stronger right at my climax. We heard voices outside in the hall. I locked eyes with him, and in a pleading whisper begged him not to stop. "They might be coming back," he whispered back, frightened. My body was tense. "I'm so close. You can't stop. If they come in you have to keep going." The thrill of getting caught was exhilarating. His fingers kept working inside me, thumb massaging my clit. My legs stiffened, my muscles contracted, and I came. The voices died away and no one entered. Body quivering, I held his fingers tight inside me as I shuddered twice in dual orgasm.

We laid still for a moment, basking in the silence. It was still very dangerous, but it seemed we had more time. My hand found his cock hard and worked it gently. That was all the persuasion he needed. I turned back with my ass pressed into him, and he directed his cock into my pussy. It was barely inside me but he started fucking me as hard as he could in this relatively tight space, unable to position ourselves the way we wanted, and unable to make any noise. My heart sped up as I realized here we were, really fucking on some stranger's couch, able to get caught at any moment by the owners of the apartment waking up or his band mates returning. He didn't last long, the sheer delight of finally having me and the fear of getting caught rushing him to orgasm. But I didn't mind at all. I helped him clean up and kissed him deeply. We were able to go to sleep rather peacefully, even if the tiny couch we were sharing was not the most comfortable bed. At least we were sleeping together again.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 freudian tactile fascination

If luxury and satisfaction are two priorities for your sex toys, one really need look no further than Lelo products. Recently, the generous PinkCherry.com Sex Toys gave me the opportunity to review a Lelo pleasure object that I've had my eye on for sometime. Behold, Ella. Ella is a double-ended dildo with a remarkably sleek design and a curve which begs to be nestled against the G-Spot. After my more than fulfilling first experiences with a G-Spot dildo, the Ella looked like the perfect shape for stimulation in that area. The old "hooked finger simulating a 'come hither' motion" technique for manual G-Spot pleasuring never quite worked for me, but once I was able to find the perfect way to reach a G-Spot orgasm, my mind immediately went to the shape of Ella - that sharp little curve seemed to me like it would have no trouble finding my G-Spot, and I had to try it for myself.

Like a good Lelo product, Ella comes with a sophisticated black box as well as a white satin pouch for storage, a 1-year warranty, and a detailed instruction manual. If Ella is your first Lelo product, you will certainly be wow'd by the display and packaging care which surrounds this pleasure object. If not, you will quickly scoop Ella into your hands and get down to business. I was immediately taken aback by Ella once it was in my palms. Made of 100% Silicone (which also means 100% sterilizable, and 100% should-not-be-used-with-Silicone-lubricants), Ella has a unique feel which I haven't experienced before. It is smooth, almost velvety, and reminded me of the covers of a certain type of Penguin paperback book, which, I have to say, are my favorite book covers (yes - I am that much of a nerd that I have a favorite book cover texture).

Once I got over my tactile fascination with Ella, I turned it over to my boyfriend, who took the honors of testing out the non-G-Spot end inside my pussy. Do not underestimate the brilliance of the non-G-Spot end on this dildo. The shaft widens from the tip and then tapers down, creating a rich, full feeling when thrusted. This feeling multiplies in intensity when the dildo is removed and reinserted. This is certainly a unique take on a pleasurable shape. The heads of many toys (and, consequently, penises) also have harnessed the pleasures of tapering and widening, but because Ella is sculpted with the widest point not at the end of the toy but somewhere near the middle, the elongated shape prolongs the sensation. Without having tried out the G-Spot end, I was already sold on Ella.

Yet, it would not be appropriate to review a G-Spot dildo without testing it out on that very spot. While I would give Ella the highest rating possible based on all its other attributes, here it was sadly lacking for me. Because the toy is Silicone through and through, it is slightly flexible and lacking in rigidity. The texture of the silicone is one of the biggest contributors to the excellent feeling of the toy sliding against my insides, but when it came to the G-Spot curve, it was under the bar. The shape, expertly as I expected, found my G-Spot and immediately felt great. However, because of the relative softness of the toy compared to my other glass G-Spot dildo, I was unable to generate enough force to bring myself to orgasm, and my arm ran out of steam before Ella could make me sing.

Over the course of five separate tries, I was unable to reach a G-Spot orgasm with Ella. However, as a relatively new recruit to the world of female ejaculation/G-Spot orgasm, some of this may be due to my inexperience in knowing all the right ways my body responds to this sort of stimulation. As I am so fond of Ella for all it's other properties - texture, design, the non-G-Spot end, affordability, warranty and other Lelo perks, I have to say my review is a rave. I am committed to continue using the Ella, and hopefully utilizing the G-Spot end to it's full potential. At this point, I can't say it wholly succeeded as a double-ended dildo, but there is certainly enough in either end to find something worth enjoying.

Thursday, April 2, 2009 orgasming in under a minute is NOT a bad thing

The Hitachi Magic Wand has always seemed like a right of passage to me. The buzz (pun intended) around this pleasure object is extensive: not only is the Magic Wand popular among sex toy enthusiasts and frequently seen in pornography, but has been one of the most well-publicized toys since it first hit the market in the 1970s. I mean, seriously – American Apparel stocks it. This friendly massager may claim to alleviate shoulder and back pain, but I have always felt it was my duty as a sex toy reviewer to do as so many women have done before me and put it between my legs.

Thanks to the kind folks over at PinkCherry.com Sex Toys, a wonderful, budding online sex toy store serving Canada and the United States, I was finally given my chance to see just what all the hype about the Magic Wand was. It's hard not to be amused by the Magic Wand's packaging, which shows off happy men and women using the massager on "suggested" parts of their bodies. To some, it might be irritating that the Magic Wand hasn't joined the 21st century, accepted sexuality, and marketed itself as a sexual pleasure object. However, even though the marketing is discreet, the Wand's uses are certainly no secret, and I was soon to find out why.

The 14" Magic Wand packs a powerful punch. It has two settings – they are labeled 'L(ow)' and 'H(igh),' but the first setting is stronger than any other vibrating toy I've ever been around, let alone used. The toys cumbersome qualities, unfortunately, are quite numerous. When I first switched the Wand on to low, the vibration was so loud my boyfriend turned Minor Threat up a few notches to make sure our roommates didn't hear. Even after that precaution, he insisted I hold it underneath our four blankets. At that point, it was still possible to hear the loud vibrations, but at least they wouldn't carry past our bedroom. It goes without saying that the higher setting is louder still.

In addition to the high noise level, the Wand is powered by electricity – meaning it has a cord that you have to plug into the wall. I found that the cord was long enough for this not to be a problem when using the toy, but for those of you who've grown accustomed to the world of cordless devices (See: 99.9% of sex toys, cell phones, Bluetooth headsets, wireless mice and keyboards, etc.), it might get in your way for a while until you learn to work around it. Furthermore, since the Wand is a corded electrical device, it should NEVER be used near water, and should always be cleaned with a damp cloth rather than submersion. Electrocution and breaking this toy are both two things you really, really don't want.

And why is that? Because aside from these downfalls, the Hitachi Magic Wand is the most sexually satisfying toy I have ever used. Penetration is great, but 9 times out of 10 it will not cause me to orgasm, and I am definitely among those women who prefer clitoral stimulation and clitoral orgasms. For my first test of the Wand, I pressed it firmly against my clit while still wearing underwear. Thirty seconds later, I came. My boyfriend, excited, said, "You like that thing, don't you?" I promptly nodded and made myself come again. The vibrations are so strong, they never failed to bring me to orgasm in under a minute. I am not kidding.

I am the kind of girl who once she gets going, can orgasm over and over again pretty much as long as I want to. Up until this point, the only thing that facilitated this was my own hand or my boyfriend's tongue. Now, however, I finally found a toy which helped me come fast and keep coming. After five orgasms or so, I switched it on high and still found excellent results. The high setting, for me, wasn't necessary until my body was already very, very used to the lower setting The lower setting was enough to keep me coming, and in all subsequent uses it has been enough to get me off when I am pressed for time. Seriously. Under a minute every time. I cannot stress the awesomeness of that enough.

When used on bare skin, the Magic Wand is a little much. In general, I prefer greatly to be stimulated with something thin in between me and my clit (underwear, a blanket), so this goes doubly for when I use the Wand. Not only does the toy stay clean this way, but the vibration doesn't irritate the clitoris, it just massages it into heavenly bliss. I was able to come with bare skin contact, but it simply was not as pleasurable for me this way.

The Hitachi Magic Wand has climbed to the top of my sex toy list, and it's going to take an amazing toy to dethrone it. I understand exactly why this toy is so popular. Sure, I've been able to orgasm with other clitoral vibrators, but none of them have produced orgasms so strong or so quickly as the Wand did. Although I am still certain that all bodies are different, if you crave something that is strong and dependable, look no further than the Magic Wand. It is a wonderful foreplay device as well as a solo-satisfier.

As much as this is a toy that I love because I can use it just for me, it is wonderful for partner play. Watching someone else press the Wand to your body and wait mere seconds for it to send and orgasm shuddering through your muscles only heightens the pleasure it can create. And as those of us who have seen Kink.com's wonderful use of the Wand (their black handle can't fool me), it is terrific for forced orgasm play. Okay, I have to go. My roommates just stepped out of the house. And you know what that means – me and my Magic Wand can be as loud as we want.

Sunday, March 15, 2009 hey pretty kitty

Although my boyfriend and I's sex life is still full of surprises, a few months ago we reached a point where we really opened up with each other sexually. We came to understand that with the exception of a few extremes, we both will try anything once when it comes to sex, and since then we have had a lot of fun exploring new things. While many of these things have been with us since the beginning, simply evolving (such as dominant/submissive roles), there are some areas which we are only beginning to dip our toes into. One of these, role reversal, has been getting more attention than others lately.

My boyfriend is the kind of a guy who is comfortable enough to let me be his man without worrying that he is somehow attracted to men. Because of this, we wanted to take it to the next step. And although I can get behind him, grab his hips, and switch into his role quite nicely, there is one thing I'm missing: a cock. So, amidst all the coveted objects on my wish list, I began drooling over the Cherry jaguar Double strap harness, the item of my dreams to turn me into a man at last (that is, without all the permanence of surgery...). Once again, the kind folks over at Eden Fantasys made my dreams come true, and shipped the Cherry Jag over to me to review.

Flattened inside its plastic Ziploc bag, the Jaguar lacks the same immediate eye-appeal one sees in pictures in this form. Aslan Leather could certainly have design some sort of fancy package for this fancy harness, but as soon as its in your hands, it is no longer lackluster. It does come with a tag providing in-depth leather care instructions, which is a plus. The Cherry Jaguar is made out of a soft, pliable leather which bend and moves easily, contouring to your body once it's on. In my hands, it reminded me of a horse bridle, but it is much more flexible and soft than any bridle I've ever handled. Still, the aroma of leather and the sweet clinking of the metal fixtures is good on my senses. (Of course, if real leather isn't for you, Aslan also makes a Vegan Jaguar in black).

Up close, the harness is easy to admire. All of the pieces are stitched together with a thick thread. The straps are sewn together closed, so that the edges are rounded. The only thing unattractive about this is that the two ends meet in the middle of the back of the straps, creating a thin line. Surprisingly, this line doesn't split open and doesn't detract from the quality or appearance of the straps. The edges of the leather on the main body of the harness are not rounded/finished. All of the metal clasps, rings, and buckles are thick and solid. In the center of the body is the rubber ring to fix most harness-compatible dildos to, and to my surprise it was very flexible. Squeezing it with my fingers, I was reminded of a Nuva Ring commercial.

Everything checked out. The harness was 100% what I expected it terms of good quality, craftsmanship, and durability. Now the real test - the fit. Unhooking one hip strap, I slid the harness on. Making a few adjustments so that the hip straps were on the same notch on either side, I then turned to the rear straps. These don't have buckles, you simply pull to tighten them like the straps on a backpack. In under a minute, I was perfectly fitted. While I wouldn't say one size fits all on this product, it has significant room to fit a person much larger than me. I wore it with both straps on the fourth hole, out of 12 on each side.

But even though I was happy to find a good fit, I was even more pleased at the comfort. The soft leather feels very good on the skin, and the cut of the straps gives full access so that not only can I fuck with this on, I can be fucked. I was curious to see whether or not the ring really situated over the clit for added stimulation with a dildo in, so I secured my Tantus Small Silk inside (which, by the way, does fit, even though it is a very small dildo!). And... no dice. You can adjust the harness so that the dildo does press against the clit, but for me this was not the most comfortable way to wear it. That was a shame, but I imagine different body shapes and sizes will have a different experience with that.

Because the dildo I was using was small, I was worried about it slipping out of the harness as soon as I began to play. This was not the case. The rubber ring clung nicely to the silicone and really kept it firmly in place, not just in the harness, but in the direction I had positioned it with the dildo curving up. As I slid my dick against my boyfriend's body for the first time, I smiled out of character. The harness felt snug and secure, and although it didn't feel like "a part of my body," I like the feeling clothes/lingerie/what have you during sex, so it was not bothersome at all. We have not yet taken the Jaguar to all its limits, but that's not to say that we haven't played rough with it, put it through pulling, tugging, sucking, and shifting around in just about every way we could try. It stayed snug, and the dildo stayed put.

We both really enjoy the harness. It is absolutely beautiful, and you want to wear it. Although I haven't been able to usher my boyfriend fully into pegging yet, having this harness has made the role reversal real, and we have done more with it than we ever could have done sans harness. If you want to feel good about yourself, a nice harness like this definitely stands out above others for me. Feeling good about my own body and appearance during sex is important for me, and this piece definitely helps. I don't have to worry about looking strange or unflattering - it looks good, and my boyfriend and I both know that we are now attracted to me with a cock. This harness will surely get a lot of use from me, and it can certainly advance the areas of our role reversal. The Cherry Jaguar is, for me, the perfect combination of aesthetics and quality, and I have no desire to replace it with any other harness.

Keep an eye for more adventures with this harness. As they happen, I'll include "follow up" links to those posts in this review :D

$99.99Cherry jaguar Double strap harness by Aslan Leather Material: Leather Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

Sunday, February 22, 2009 suspension of activity

Hey all. I wanted to let everyone know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. My computer recently contracted a heavy virus, which ended up completely destroying my computer. I can't even log onto it at this point. I am in the process of getting it fixed, but until then I don't have anywhere to blog from - my school's computers don't support "adult content." I am bringing this post to you from my boyfriend's computer, but in an hour I will be driving away, so good bye internet for a few more days. I do have a few reviews coming up soon, so hopefully all will be restored to order and I can post again soon.

Think good thoughts for my poor sick computer.

Monday, February 9, 2009 i wish that i knew what i know now

Why is it that all the things we need to know most about ourselves, no one bothers to tell us? Of course, this statement encompasses a large variety of avenues, much of which falls under the "you must learn that for yourself" header. But when it comes down to basic education, I am once again reminded of the complete and total fail of the American sexual education system. No one ever taught me about my body the way I needed to be taught about it, and after twenty-one years I am still unlocking its secrets. The following is a serious (although humorous) list of things which I wish someone would have taught me/dispelled myths about earlier in my life, having to do with sexual gratification:

1. Sexual arousal is natural. From infancy, the human body is capable of being sexually aroused. Infants who discover this magic secret are often scolded for touching their private parts, and by the time they have a stable memory, they know that "down there" is off-limits. Why? Understandably, a parent may be concerned about his or her child masturbating in public, but condemning their sexual exploration is, in my opinion, very detrimental. If children are taught even from this very young age that sexuality is natural, but should be kept private, a parent can achieve the same result. [And yes, I have chosen to exclude parenting strategies for those who condemn masturbation at all ages – for obvious reasons.]

2. Masturbation, in general, needs a new treatment. While I recognize it would be impossible for America to make this turn around, I would like to see a world where masturbation is encouraged, not discouraged, in young teens. I'm not asking for someone to run around demanding children masturbate, but I think that there needs to be a new sect of education informing on the human body and how it can be sexually gratified. While we learn where the uterus is and that the penis looks funny (especially in side profile), no one ever mentioned to me that aside from creating children these body parts can do something for us. I think most parents would rather their child masturbate than engage in couple's sex at a young age.

3. Ah, the Clitoris. If this list were ranked in order of importance, I would probably slate this at number one. I wish not only that someone would have told me the clitoris is the major center for female orgasms (not that I didn't find that out on my own.... still, I didn't know what it was called or what I was doing), but wouldn't it be nice if boys could be told this as well? But not just where it is - how to treat it. You have to be gentle, but firm. To this day, a boy hasn't touched my clit in what my body feels is the "proper" way. I like a lot of pressure, smooth movements, and little to no actual contact with the clit. A thin layer of skin/fabric in between makes the sensation much more pleasurable - the clitoris is sensitive, guys.

4. Masturbation myths! I wish someone would have told me what men really want, and vice versa when it comes to stimulation by hands. I've read enough trashy porn to know that, according to men, when women want to "jack off" they shove some fingers in their pussy and jab until they come.* I have never once masturbated by putting my fingers inside myself. It does nothing for me. [Although my own fingers don't appeal to me, please don't read this as "no partner fingers either." My partner's fingers are very much appreciated.] Masturbating with vibrators and dildos is a different story, but the fact of insertion isn't the part that is going to make me come. Texture, angle, or vibration is. As far as the male body is concerned, I still haven't cracked the code of a perfect hand job. Yet another thing I wish was taught to me.

5. The G-Spot. This is the big one. Not only was I never informed of the simple fact "women orgasm too!," but I was not informed that women can orgasm in different ways. How does one find the G-Spot? Once it's found, how can it be found again? These questions plagued me as I explored with a variety of "tools" to locate the fabled spot. My search lasted a long time until finally, I found it in a reliable enough manner to stimulate it for a G-Spot orgasm. The next time I tried to produce it, I failed. I had to learn exactly how it had happened. No one ever tells you that the G-Spot doesn't need to be "stroked," it needs to be scratched like a bad itch. The words "scratch" and "vagina" don't go well together - the idea of actual scratching inside myself makes me feel faint. But the motion is similar. I want a hard (yes, hard) curve clawing at my G-Spot, and I want the rate of stimulation to be quick. These are such simple tips - why had no one else been able to bestow them on me?

Although there are many other mysteries of my body which I could have used instruction in (how to insert a tampon, the importance of lubrication/foreplay for intercourse, the many and varied forms of birth control available and how to use each, the fact that there is no sexual "norm" and everyone has their own pace/tastes, okay - seriously, this list can REALLY go on), I am going to cut my list here. Most of the things I could go on to discuss probably tie into sexual gratification in one way or another, but they lack the direct, succinctness of this list. As a final thought, I just hope that others can learn these things earlier in life, so that they can truly enjoy their body for as long as they get to inhabit it.

And, I think the future is a bright one. I know all this stuff now, right? Well - how do you think I know it? It's thanks to people like Planned Parenthood, Loveline, and the good ol' interweb. Of course the information is out there somewhere if you know what you're looking for, but wouldn't it be so much nicer if it could be taught to us in an environment that made it acceptable while being educating? Ah, to dream.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 Best Sex Toy Reviewers 2008

Although it comes as a surprise to me, I have made it onto the Best Sex Toy Reviewers list of 2008, an annual list compiled by Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek. I'm extremely flattered to be included in this list, however far down my name may appear. For those of you who read my reviews, enjoy my blog, or even went so far as to nominate me for this list, I extend a big thanks. Since I got into the sex blogging game fairly late in the year of 2008, I will try to make 2009 even better, so that I might feel worthy of sharing space alongside the names of some of the great reviewers on that list. You can check out the list here. It's full of wonderful reviewers and people. Congratulations to all of you!