syntax & sex

the squeaky smooth variety

2009-07-03T15:22:00.001-07:00

A new box of sex toys in the mail is always fun. My latest package from PinkCherry.com Sex Toys (who have now opened a Canadian duty-free branch of their store here) contained something I have been wanting to try for a long time - a Tantus dildo. My experience with Tantus items has been very pleasurable so far: the Ryder is still one of my favorite toys. In my opinion, 100% silicone toys are at the top of the desirable materials list, alongside all the greats (wood, metal, glass - oh, by the way, when you read "great," read "expensive"). Therefore I was more than happy to give the Acute a go.

At 6" long and 4" around, the Acute is a comfortable, great sized dildo. I can't see it posing much of a challenge for the average woman, especially if inserted with the aid of a lubricant (non-silicone based only). It is not a slender toy, but it's length and girth are a proportionate, nice medium. I was able to insert it with ease without lubrication while aroused, but adding a bit of lube always makes things a little more fun and smooth. And smooth, certainly, is what Tantus is all about. Their style of silicone is of the squeaky smooth variety. Like all silicone, it is a dust magnet, but if you store the Acute in something as simple as a plastic ziploc bag, you can avoid a sticky situation. The smooth texture of the Acute feels great and is nonabrasive - it doesn't cling to the skin or cause any discomfort during thrusting, which is an excellent feature.

The Acute is a nice balance between a "realistic" looking dildo, and a cute looking dildo. It does have something of a pronounced head, it does seem to match the size and shape of an average male penis, and it does curve upward - but all of these things are also combined with fun, sparkly colors and a slightly wavy texture throughout the shaft. The curve on the Acute is more pronounced than many of Tantus' other dildos, making it a great toy for G-spot play. Two elements of the Acute caused it to fall short of being a GREAT G-spot toy for me, however. First of all, the head is streamlined into the shaft, and for G-spot stimulation, I require a bit more of a "bump" between the head and shaft. Secondly, the silicone is flexible and, once again, has something like the consistency of a real penis. I need something a bit harder (like glass) to deliver a G-spot orgasm.

However, the Acute fit me like a glove. It is a very comfortable toy and the shape feels absolutely great whether you're keeping it in place or thrusting in and out of the vagina. I have yet to try the toy anally, but because it is 100% silicone and therefore sterilizable, it can go between orifices and even partners as long as it is placed in the dishwasher or boiled for at least three minutes between uses.

There are no limits with the Tantus Acute. Because of its flared base, the Acute is harness-compatible and fit nicely in my Jaguar harness. This was great for role-reversal play, because I finally got to wear a cock that was the size and shape of something a little more real (compared to my much smaller Tantus Small silk). Although the Acute hasn't made it into all of the orifices in our relationship, it has passed between the mouths of my boyfriend and I and the feel of Tantus silicone on the tongue is yet another steamy sensation not to be missed.

new york times

2009-05-18T13:11:00.000-07:00

We fall together on a flat leather couch and finally feel our tongues meet together. This kissing, this rise in a heart beat, this groping of hands tightly at my beasts and my hand sliding up his thigh - it never lasted more than five minutes, just enough to make our blood boil, but quickly extinguished as other people came and went rom the room and we had to hide our amorousness. For hours throughout their show we wound up heated and unable to really connect ourselves as we wished, but not frustrated. We were elated, like school children, just to sneak a kiss.

That night we stayed in Brooklyn with a friend of the drummer's. She was sloppily intoxicated but hospitable. She went to bed in a room next to the living room where we were to sleep. Everyone else went out for a night cap. We were alone on the couch - but the girl's room had an open gap in the wall before it me the ceiling, and we shared a sphere of sound with her. Our bodies were pressed tight, my back to his chest, and my hips couldn't help moving against him. His hand slipped under my nightgown and into my underwear. I lost my breath. I held it to keep silent as his fingers massaged my clit and turned me on instantly. I moved against him as vigorously as I could while remaining silent. I struggled to pull my underwear down around my knees without lifting the small blanket off of us and moved his hand to thrust his fingers inside my pussy. I felt myself grow wetter instantly. It was almost too much to feel him inside me again.

Breathlessly, with only a slight rustling, he brought me to orgasm, the threat of the others returning growing stronger right at my climax. We heard voices outside in the hall. I locked eyes with him, and in a pleading whisper begged him not to stop. "They might be coming back," he whispered back, frightened. My body was tense. "I'm so close. You can't stop. If they come in you have to keep going." The thrill of getting caught was exhilarating. His fingers kept working inside me, thumb massaging my clit. My legs stiffened, my muscles contracted, and I came. The voices died away and no one entered. Body quivering, I held his fingers tight inside me as I shuddered twice in dual orgasm.

We laid still for a moment, basking in the silence. It was still very dangerous, but it seemed we had more time. My hand found his cock hard and worked it gently. That was all the persuasion he needed. I turned back with my ass pressed into him, and he directed his cock into my pussy. It was barely inside me but he started fucking me as hard as he could in this relatively tight space, unable to position ourselves the way we wanted, and unable to make any noise. My heart sped up as I realized here we were, really fucking on some stranger's couch, able to get caught at any moment by the owners of the apartment waking up or his band mates returning. He didn't last long, the sheer delight of finally having me and the fear of getting caught rushing him to orgasm. But I didn't mind at all. I helped him clean up and kissed him deeply. We were able to go to sleep rather peacefully, even if the tiny couch we were sharing was not the most comfortable bed. At least we were sleeping together again.

freudian tactile fascination

2009-04-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

If luxury and satisfaction are two priorities for your sex toys, one really need look no further than Lelo products. Recently, the generous PinkCherry.com Sex Toys gave me the opportunity to review a Lelo pleasure object that I've had my eye on for sometime. Behold, Ella. Ella is a double-ended dildo with a remarkably sleek design and a curve which begs to be nestled against the G-Spot. After my more than fulfilling first experiences with a G-Spot dildo, the Ella looked like the perfect shape for stimulation in that area. The old "hooked finger simulating a 'come hither' motion" technique for manual G-Spot pleasuring never quite worked for me, but once I was able to find the perfect way to reach a G-Spot orgasm, my mind immediately went to the shape of Ella - that sharp little curve seemed to me like it would have no trouble finding my G-Spot, and I had to try it for myself.

Like a good Lelo product, Ella comes with a sophisticated black box as well as a white satin pouch for storage, a 1-year warranty, and a detailed instruction manual. If Ella is your first Lelo product, you will certainly be wow'd by the display and packaging care which surrounds this pleasure object. If not, you will quickly scoop Ella into your hands and get down to business. I was immediately taken aback by Ella once it was in my palms. Made of 100% Silicone (which also means 100% sterilizable, and 100% should-not-be-used-with-Silicone-lubricants), Ella has a unique feel which I haven't experienced before. It is smooth, almost velvety, and reminded me of the covers of a certain type of Penguin paperback book, which, I have to say, are my favorite book covers (yes - I am that much of a nerd that I have a favorite book cover texture).

Once I got over my tactile fascination with Ella, I turned it over to my boyfriend, who took the honors of testing out the non-G-Spot end inside my pussy. Do not underestimate the brilliance of the non-G-Spot end on this dildo. The shaft widens from the tip and then tapers down, creating a rich, full feeling when thrusted. This feeling multiplies in intensity when the dildo is removed and reinserted. This is certainly a unique take on a pleasurable shape. The heads of many toys (and, consequently, penises) also have harnessed the pleasures of tapering and widening, but because Ella is sculpted with the widest point not at the end of the toy but somewhere near the middle, the elongated shape prolongs the sensation. Without having tried out the G-Spot end, I was already sold on Ella.

Yet, it would not be appropriate to review a G-Spot dildo without testing it out on that very spot. While I would give Ella the highest rating possible based on all its other attributes, here it was sadly lacking for me. Because the toy is Silicone through and through, it is slightly flexible and lacking in rigidity. The texture of the silicone is one of the biggest contributors to the excellent feeling of the toy sliding against my insides, but when it came to the G-Spot curve, it was under the bar. The shape, expertly as I expected, found my G-Spot and immediately felt great. However, because of the relative softness of the toy compared to my other glass G-Spot dildo, I was unable to generate enough force to bring myself to orgasm, and my arm ran out of steam before Ella could make me sing.

Over the course of five separate tries, I was unable to reach a G-Spot orgasm with Ella. However, as a relatively new recruit to the world of female ejaculation/G-Spot orgasm, some of this may be due to my inexperience in knowing all the right ways my body responds to this sort of stimulation. As I am so fond of Ella for all it's other properties - texture, design, the non-G-Spot end, affordability, warranty and other Lelo perks, I have to say my review is a rave. I am committed to continue using the Ella, and hopefully utilizing the G-Spot end to it's full potential. At this point, I can't say it wholly succeeded as a double-ended dildo, but there is certainly enough in either end to find something worth enjoying.

orgasming in under a minute is NOT a bad thing

2009-04-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

The Hitachi Magic Wand has always seemed like a right of passage to me. The buzz (pun intended) around this pleasure object is extensive: not only is the Magic Wand popular among sex toy enthusiasts and frequently seen in pornography, but has been one of the most well-publicized toys since it first hit the market in the 1970s. I mean, seriously – American Apparel stocks it. This friendly massager may claim to alleviate shoulder and back pain, but I have always felt it was my duty as a sex toy reviewer to do as so many women have done before me and put it between my legs.

Thanks to the kind folks over at PinkCherry.com Sex Toys, a wonderful, budding online sex toy store serving Canada and the United States, I was finally given my chance to see just what all the hype about the Magic Wand was. It's hard not to be amused by the Magic Wand's packaging, which shows off happy men and women using the massager on "suggested" parts of their bodies. To some, it might be irritating that the Magic Wand hasn't joined the 21st century, accepted sexuality, and marketed itself as a sexual pleasure object. However, even though the marketing is discreet, the Wand's uses are certainly no secret, and I was soon to find out why.

The 14" Magic Wand packs a powerful punch. It has two settings – they are labeled 'L(ow)' and 'H(igh),' but the first setting is stronger than any other vibrating toy I've ever been around, let alone used. The toys cumbersome qualities, unfortunately, are quite numerous. When I first switched the Wand on to low, the vibration was so loud my boyfriend turned Minor Threat up a few notches to make sure our roommates didn't hear. Even after that precaution, he insisted I hold it underneath our four blankets. At that point, it was still possible to hear the loud vibrations, but at least they wouldn't carry past our bedroom. It goes without saying that the higher setting is louder still.

In addition to the high noise level, the Wand is powered by electricity – meaning it has a cord that you have to plug into the wall. I found that the cord was long enough for this not to be a problem when using the toy, but for those of you who've grown accustomed to the world of cordless devices (See: 99.9% of sex toys, cell phones, Bluetooth headsets, wireless mice and keyboards, etc.), it might get in your way for a while until you learn to work around it. Furthermore, since the Wand is a corded electrical device, it should NEVER be used near water, and should always be cleaned with a damp cloth rather than submersion. Electrocution and breaking this toy are both two things you really, really don't want.

And why is that? Because aside from these downfalls, the Hitachi Magic Wand is the most sexually satisfying toy I have ever used. Penetration is great, but 9 times out of 10 it will not cause me to orgasm, and I am definitely among those women who prefer clitoral stimulation and clitoral orgasms. For my first test of the Wand, I pressed it firmly against my clit while still wearing underwear. Thirty seconds later, I came. My boyfriend, excited, said, "You like that thing, don't you?" I promptly nodded and made myself come again. The vibrations are so strong, they never failed to bring me to orgasm in under a minute. I am not kidding.

I am the kind of girl who once she gets going, can orgasm over and over again pretty much as long as I want to. Up until this point, the only thing that facilitated this was my own hand or my boyfriend's tongue. Now, however, I finally found a toy which helped me come fast and keep coming. After five orgasms or so, I switched it on high and still found excellent results. The high setting, for me, wasn't necessary until my body was already very, very used to the lower setting The lower setting was enough to keep me coming, and in all subsequent uses it has been enough to get me off when I am pressed for time. Seriously. Under a minute every time. I cannot stress the awesomeness of that enough.

When used on bare skin, the Magic Wand is a little much. In general, I prefer greatly to be stimulated with something thin in between me and my clit (underwear, a blanket), so this goes doubly for when I use the Wand. Not only does the toy stay clean this way, but the vibration doesn't irritate the clitoris, it just massages it into heavenly bliss. I was able to come with bare skin contact, but it simply was not as pleasurable for me this way.

The Hitachi Magic Wand has climbed to the top of my sex toy list, and it's going to take an amazing toy to dethrone it. I understand exactly why this toy is so popular. Sure, I've been able to orgasm with other clitoral vibrators, but none of them have produced orgasms so strong or so quickly as the Wand did. Although I am still certain that all bodies are different, if you crave something that is strong and dependable, look no further than the Magic Wand. It is a wonderful foreplay device as well as a solo-satisfier.

As much as this is a toy that I love because I can use it just for me, it is wonderful for partner play. Watching someone else press the Wand to your body and wait mere seconds for it to send and orgasm shuddering through your muscles only heightens the pleasure it can create. And as those of us who have seen Kink.com's wonderful use of the Wand (their black handle can't fool me), it is terrific for forced orgasm play. Okay, I have to go. My roommates just stepped out of the house. And you know what that means – me and my Magic Wand can be as loud as we want.

hey pretty kitty

2009-03-15T15:56:00.001-07:00

Although my boyfriend and I's sex life is still full of surprises, a few months ago we reached a point where we really opened up with each other sexually. We came to understand that with the exception of a few extremes, we both will try anything once when it comes to sex, and since then we have had a lot of fun exploring new things. While many of these things have been with us since the beginning, simply evolving (such as dominant/submissive roles), there are some areas which we are only beginning to dip our toes into. One of these, role reversal, has been getting more attention than others lately.

My boyfriend is the kind of a guy who is comfortable enough to let me be his man without worrying that he is somehow attracted to men. Because of this, we wanted to take it to the next step. And although I can get behind him, grab his hips, and switch into his role quite nicely, there is one thing I'm missing: a cock. So, amidst all the coveted objects on my wish list, I began drooling over the Cherry jaguar Double strap harness, the item of my dreams to turn me into a man at last (that is, without all the permanence of surgery...). Once again, the kind folks over at Eden Fantasys made my dreams come true, and shipped the Cherry Jag over to me to review.

Flattened inside its plastic Ziploc bag, the Jaguar lacks the same immediate eye-appeal one sees in pictures in this form. Aslan Leather could certainly have design some sort of fancy package for this fancy harness, but as soon as its in your hands, it is no longer lackluster. It does come with a tag providing in-depth leather care instructions, which is a plus. The Cherry Jaguar is made out of a soft, pliable leather which bend and moves easily, contouring to your body once it's on. In my hands, it reminded me of a horse bridle, but it is much more flexible and soft than any bridle I've ever handled. Still, the aroma of leather and the sweet clinking of the metal fixtures is good on my senses. (Of course, if real leather isn't for you, Aslan also makes a Vegan Jaguar in black).

Up close, the harness is easy to admire. All of the pieces are stitched together with a thick thread. The straps are sewn together closed, so that the edges are rounded. The only thing unattractive about this is that the two ends meet in the middle of the back of the straps, creating a thin line. Surprisingly, this line doesn't split open and doesn't detract from the quality or appearance of the straps. The edges of the leather on the main body of the harness are not rounded/finished. All of the metal clasps, rings, and buckles are thick and solid. In the center of the body is the rubber ring to fix most harness-compatible dildos to, and to my surprise it was very flexible. Squeezing it with my fingers, I was reminded of a Nuva Ring commercial.

Everything checked out. The harness was 100% what I expected it terms of good quality, craftsmanship, and durability. Now the real test - the fit. Unhooking one hip strap, I slid the harness on. Making a few adjustments so that the hip straps were on the same notch on either side, I then turned to the rear straps. These don't have buckles, you simply pull to tighten them like the straps on a backpack. In under a minute, I was perfectly fitted. While I wouldn't say one size fits all on this product, it has significant room to fit a person much larger than me. I wore it with both straps on the fourth hole, out of 12 on each side.

But even though I was happy to find a good fit, I was even more pleased at the comfort. The soft leather feels very good on the skin, and the cut of the straps gives full access so that not only can I fuck with this on, I can be fucked. I was curious to see whether or not the ring really situated over the clit for added stimulation with a dildo in, so I secured my Tantus Small Silk inside (which, by the way, does fit, even though it is a very small dildo!). And... no dice. You can adjust the harness so that the dildo does press against the clit, but for me this was not the most comfortable way to wear it. That was a shame, but I imagine different body shapes and sizes will have a different experience with that.

Because the dildo I was using was small, I was worried about it slipping out of the harness as soon as I began to play. This was not the case. The rubber ring clung nicely to the silicone and really kept it firmly in place, not just in the harness, but in the direction I had positioned it with the dildo curving up. As I slid my dick against my boyfriend's body for the first time, I smiled out of character. The harness felt snug and secure, and although it didn't feel like "a part of my body," I like the feeling clothes/lingerie/what have you during sex, so it was not bothersome at all. We have not yet taken the Jaguar to all its limits, but that's not to say that we haven't played rough with it, put it through pulling, tugging, sucking, and shifting around in just about every way we could try. It stayed snug, and the dildo stayed put.

We both really enjoy the harness. It is absolutely beautiful, and you want to wear it. Although I haven't been able to usher my boyfriend fully into pegging yet, having this harness has made the role reversal real, and we have done more with it than we ever could have done sans harness. If you want to feel good about yourself, a nice harness like this definitely stands out above others for me. Feeling good about my own body and appearance during sex is important for me, and this piece definitely helps. I don't have to worry about looking strange or unflattering - it looks good, and my boyfriend and I both know that we are now attracted to me with a cock. This harness will surely get a lot of use from me, and it can certainly advance the areas of our role reversal. The Cherry Jaguar is, for me, the perfect combination of aesthetics and quality, and I have no desire to replace it with any other harness.

Keep an eye for more adventures with this harness. As they happen, I'll include "follow up" links to those posts in this review :D

$99.99Cherry jaguar

Double strap harness by Aslan Leather

Material: Leather

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

suspension of activity

2009-02-22T21:56:00.000-08:00

Hey all. I wanted to let everyone know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. My computer recently contracted a heavy virus, which ended up completely destroying my computer. I can't even log onto it at this point. I am in the process of getting it fixed, but until then I don't have anywhere to blog from - my school's computers don't support "adult content." I am bringing this post to you from my boyfriend's computer, but in an hour I will be driving away, so good bye internet for a few more days. I do have a few reviews coming up soon, so hopefully all will be restored to order and I can post again soon.

Think good thoughts for my poor sick computer.

i wish that i knew what i know now

2009-02-09T17:33:00.000-08:00

Why is it that all the things we need to know most about ourselves, no one bothers to tell us? Of course, this statement encompasses a large variety of avenues, much of which falls under the "you must learn that for yourself" header. But when it comes down to basic education, I am once again reminded of the complete and total fail of the American sexual education system. No one ever taught me about my body the way I needed to be taught about it, and after twenty-one years I am still unlocking its secrets. The following is a serious (although humorous) list of things which I wish someone would have taught me/dispelled myths about earlier in my life, having to do with sexual gratification:

1. Sexual arousal is natural. From infancy, the human body is capable of being sexually aroused. Infants who discover this magic secret are often scolded for touching their private parts, and by the time they have a stable memory, they know that "down there" is off-limits. Why? Understandably, a parent may be concerned about his or her child masturbating in public, but condemning their sexual exploration is, in my opinion, very detrimental. If children are taught even from this very young age that sexuality is natural, but should be kept private, a parent can achieve the same result. [And yes, I have chosen to exclude parenting strategies for those who condemn masturbation at all ages – for obvious reasons.]

2. Masturbation, in general, needs a new treatment. While I recognize it would be impossible for America to make this turn around, I would like to see a world where masturbation is encouraged, not discouraged, in young teens. I'm not asking for someone to run around demanding children masturbate, but I think that there needs to be a new sect of education informing on the human body and how it can be sexually gratified. While we learn where the uterus is and that the penis looks funny (especially in side profile), no one ever mentioned to me that aside from creating children these body parts can do something for us. I think most parents would rather their child masturbate than engage in couple's sex at a young age.

3. Ah, the Clitoris. If this list were ranked in order of importance, I would probably slate this at number one. I wish not only that someone would have told me the clitoris is the major center for female orgasms (not that I didn't find that out on my own.... still, I didn't know what it was called or what I was doing), but wouldn't it be nice if boys could be told this as well? But not just where it is - how to treat it. You have to be gentle, but firm. To this day, a boy hasn't touched my clit in what my body feels is the "proper" way. I like a lot of pressure, smooth movements, and little to no actual contact with the clit. A thin layer of skin/fabric in between makes the sensation much more pleasurable - the clitoris is sensitive, guys.

4. Masturbation myths! I wish someone would have told me what men really want, and vice versa when it comes to stimulation by hands. I've read enough trashy porn to know that, according to men, when women want to "jack off" they shove some fingers in their pussy and jab until they come.* I have never once masturbated by putting my fingers inside myself. It does nothing for me. [Although my own fingers don't appeal to me, please don't read this as "no partner fingers either." My partner's fingers are very much appreciated.] Masturbating with vibrators and dildos is a different story, but the fact of insertion isn't the part that is going to make me come. Texture, angle, or vibration is. As far as the male body is concerned, I still haven't cracked the code of a perfect hand job. Yet another thing I wish was taught to me.

5. The G-Spot. This is the big one. Not only was I never informed of the simple fact "women orgasm too!," but I was not informed that women can orgasm in different ways. How does one find the G-Spot? Once it's found, how can it be found again? These questions plagued me as I explored with a variety of "tools" to locate the fabled spot. My search lasted a long time until finally, I found it in a reliable enough manner to stimulate it for a G-Spot orgasm. The next time I tried to produce it, I failed. I had to learn exactly how it had happened. No one ever tells you that the G-Spot doesn't need to be "stroked," it needs to be scratched like a bad itch. The words "scratch" and "vagina" don't go well together - the idea of actual scratching inside myself makes me feel faint. But the motion is similar. I want a hard (yes, hard) curve clawing at my G-Spot, and I want the rate of stimulation to be quick. These are such simple tips - why had no one else been able to bestow them on me?

Although there are many other mysteries of my body which I could have used instruction in (how to insert a tampon, the importance of lubrication/foreplay for intercourse, the many and varied forms of birth control available and how to use each, the fact that there is no sexual "norm" and everyone has their own pace/tastes, okay - seriously, this list can REALLY go on), I am going to cut my list here. Most of the things I could go on to discuss probably tie into sexual gratification in one way or another, but they lack the direct, succinctness of this list. As a final thought, I just hope that others can learn these things earlier in life, so that they can truly enjoy their body for as long as they get to inhabit it.

And, I think the future is a bright one. I know all this stuff now, right? Well - how do you think I know it? It's thanks to people like Planned Parenthood, Loveline, and the good ol' interweb. Of course the information is out there somewhere if you know what you're looking for, but wouldn't it be so much nicer if it could be taught to us in an environment that made it acceptable while being educating? Ah, to dream.

Best Sex Toy Reviewers 2008

2009-02-03T14:32:00.000-08:00

Although it comes as a surprise to me, I have made it onto the Best Sex Toy Reviewers list of 2008, an annual list compiled by Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek. I'm extremely flattered to be included in this list, however far down my name may appear. For those of you who read my reviews, enjoy my blog, or even went so far as to nominate me for this list, I extend a big thanks. Since I got into the sex blogging game fairly late in the year of 2008, I will try to make 2009 even better, so that I might feel worthy of sharing space alongside the names of some of the great reviewers on that list. You can check out the list here. It's full of wonderful reviewers and people. Congratulations to all of you!

Pleasurists #13

2009-01-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

Image by Eric Traore

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #12? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #14? Submit it here before Sunday February 1st at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Swag Contest: Isis! Deadline: Wednesday January 28th at 11:59pm.
4th Blog-iversary Trivia Contest Deadline: January 31st at 11:59pm.
Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.
The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Maui Silicone Anal Beads by Kyle

The words “anal beads” cause my internal 14 year old boy to giggle nervously and worry about the potential tenting in his jeans. My slightly more mature self smiles appreciatively with no less potential for tenting. I’m a fan of buttsex…

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Sex Kits

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn

Toy Storage

Miscellaneous

my first glass toy, my first g-spot orgasm

2009-01-25T15:14:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend is always excited about the packages that come in the mail for me. Unlike me, he's never quite sure what they're going to be. However, it was no secret between us that we would soon have our very first glass dildo. Thanks to the generous program manager over at Eden Fantasys and a little bird watching out for me called Epiphora, my first off-site review would be none other than the Scribble swirl G-spot wonder. This artisan crafted glass dildo by Phallix has been on my toy wish list for a while, but I don't know where to begin in describing the reasons why.

There is something about luxury that men and women alike can't tilt their nose at. My boyfriend has been excited to fuck me with toys before, but there is quality in the Scribble Swirl G-Spot shaft which even attracted him to the object. When I first pulled the Scribble Swirl out of its satin pouch, offering it to him, he looked it over happily. The weight of the glass is formidable - it's certainly much heavier than any of my other toys, and it lends the shaft a bit of power. The shaft is 7" long, and it boasts a comfortable 1" diameter. The head and bulbs on the handle are slightly larger than this. We admired the detail - the clear glass contrasting with the pink ribbed swirls around the shaft, the faint 24-karat gold giving a glimmering sheen to each rib in the light, and of course, the delicate flower in the handle. There are no flaws in the glass to be found - it is a truly fine-quality crafted object.

There are many pluses to glass toys which, if you've ever read about them before, you already know. Because glass is completely non-porous, if you clean it after each use there's no chance of spreading harmful bacteria. For this same reason, you can use glass toys anally or vaginally as long as you make sure to sterilize them between before switching orifices. The Scribble Shaft, however, is not so "easily" cleaned. Simply rinsing it off in soap and water was not effective, I found. The ribs around the shaft collect whatever substance gets on them, so you'll have to actually scrub at this toy to get it really clean.

Sitting on top of my boyfriend, watching him admire the dildo, he gently offered it up to my lips. Somehow, the glass spoke to us both in a way our previous toys had not - this isn't a toy that you just want in one orifice. You really want it in all of them. I began sucking on the head, sliding it slowly into my mouth to feel out the ribs on the shaft. I was immediately curious as to whether or not I would be able to feel them in my pussy. Luckily, my boyfriend prompted me to find out: "I want to see you fuck yourself with it," he told me.

I was already turned on by the sheer prettiness of the object, so it was easy to slide it into my pussy and see how it felt. To my disappointment, I couldn't really feel the ribs. I was startled at first at how cold the glass was, but for me cold is a temperature which turns me on. The way glass carries heat is perfect for my body - the contrast of cold against my warm skin is a tantalizing beginning to fucking. It didn't take long for the glass to warm up to my body temperature, making it more comfortable to thrust harder and faster. Because glass can hold onto heat or coldness very easily, I can see myself potentially having a lot of fun with this toy - submerging it in warm or cold water for a few minutes could certainly make for different types of temperature play.

The toy passed back and forth between my boyfriend and I's hands, but in the end he got so turned on by the play that he had to fuck me for himself. Of course, I didn't object. As a teasing object, the Scribble Swirl certainly set the mood for us. But I was not done with it yet, and knew I still had a few things to try out. The next week, with my boyfriend gone touring with his band, I took pleasure in the Scribble Swirl for some solo use. The first time around, I had noticed that the shape of the toy made it so thrusting fast was difficult. I wanted to lube it up. Having done so, I slipped it inside me.

This time, I could feel the ridges perfectly. They practically hummed against my skin. Having not warmed myself up at all, my pussy clung tightly to the shaft. Not only had I never had a glass toy before, but I don't have any curved G-spot toys either. I know! It's criminal. I had to adjust myself to the shape. I tried to thrust deeply by pulling it almost all the way out, and found it was uncomfortable to do so. The head which once prevented me from feeling the ridges was now quite enjoyable, but also quite painful for full and fast thrusting. So I tried a new strategy, just thrusting quickly with it mostly submerged. And this, I realized, was exactly what the Scribble Spot was designed for. The head hit perfectly against my G-Spot while the ribs pleasured my lower vaginal walls.

I had the television on in the background. I wasn't fully in the moment. I was relaxed, but not concentrating heavily on my pleasure. I had only been fucking myself for a few minutes when I recognized a familiar but never-pushed feeling. Oh, I'd read about it. That tingling feeling that almost feels like you need to pee. Excited, I began thrusting faster. Wait... was that? I kept thrusting. And sure enough, the sensation built higher and higher until culminating in my first G-Spot orgasm, leaving my legs and sheet soaked with my first ejaculation. I was completely caught off guard. The release wasn't as powerful as a clitoral orgasm, but it was certainly relieving and enjoyable. How did that just happen? The first time I used the toy, I didn't get anywhere near that sensation. And yet somehow, very quickly, it came upon me - pun intended. This toy was surrounded with firsts for me!

I very excitedly sent a text off to my boyfriend alerting him of the news. I, too, am now among the ranks of women who can squirt. He had told me how he wished that I could cum for him like he can, but I had never done it before, and was uncertain if I could. Up until now, not only have all my orgasms been clitoral, they have mostly been external. I have been able to orgasm during sex or with the use of toys inserted vaginally or anally, but usually I require clitoral stimulation on top of it to send me over the edge. Now, that's no longer the case. I washed the toy off happily. I never expected to gain so much out of one little shaft, but it really did open up a new world for me. Not only has it been the aid to many a hot scene between my boyfriend and I, but it succeeded in making me ejaculate, and very quickly I must say. I'm only too anxious to fuck myself for my boyfriend again, this time showing him what I can really do with it.

$82.99Scribble swirl G-spot wonder

Glass G-spot shaft by Phallix

Material: Pyrex Glass

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

the warmth that i'm weaving is for you alone

2009-01-22T14:28:00.000-08:00

I wanted to look nice for him, but fate had another idea. The furnace wasn't working, and the whole house was in the 45° Fahrenheit range. Bundled up in two layers of pants, a dress (that was supposed to be all I was wearing), two coats, and gloves, I was still freezing my ass off. "Get here soon," I texted him, "So we'll have an excuse to build a fire." My roommates were holed up in their room with a space heater while I impatiently awaited my boyfriend's arrival - he and the band would be staying at my place for the night until their show the next day, lovingly scheduled in my college town smack in the middle of their tour so that I could get a much needed dose of boyfriend. Actually, it was all coincidental, but that didn't make me less thankful for the date.

Finally the knock came at the door, and I found myself back in his arms, hugging, kissing, and trying to absorb his warmth. I didn't let him go for the next few hours, except to bustle about the house getting making him dinner, getting drinks, and making sure everyone was comfortable. My roommates were more than hospitable to the guests, but as we all chatted and settled down, I just wanted to get him alone. We would steal off to my room periodically so he could "check things on the internet" and I would push him on the bed and kiss him. The fireplace slowly made the house more tolerable, but all I wanted to do was get him under the covers.

When we finally got to bed, he curled up in the blankets and invited me in. Once I was, he made sure I was on top of him, smothering him in kisses. "I'm going to fuck you," he informed me. "Oh you are?" I asked, kissing along his cheeks, to the corners of his eyes, and over his eyebrows. "Yes," he confirmed, pulling up my shirt to expose my breasts and proceeding to play with my nipples. I closed my eyes and pressed close against him, savoring the feeling of being touched, of touching him, of my hips slowly beginning to move against him and feeling him harden even through our clothes.

The clothes were quickly shed, and I climbed back on top of him, slowly sliding him into my pussy. We both broke into smiles at the familiar feeling of being as close to one another as physically possible. I kept my bare chest pressed against his as I moved my hips up and down, very slowly, feeling every inch of him slide in and out. I melted into him, our bodies quickly generating enough heat to make us forget about the freezing house. But as I held back gasps of pleasure, my body craved more. I needed force, and the two of us were tied to silence - not only was the entire band + two friends out in the living room, but my three roommates live just above my room, and one of them is my brother. Silence, in this situation, was a necessity.

We switched places, and with his body on top of mine he was able to drive harder into me, but as good as his cock felt inside me, it wasn't enough for either of us - we'd been starved of each others attention long enough to create a significant storage of desire, and the poor boy had been living in a van or on stranger's floors. Unlike me, getting off on his own was not an option. I'm not sure which of us suggested it, perhaps both, but after enduring the teasing (although pleasing) slow sensations we could create on the bed, I threw the comforter on the floor. We froze for a few minutes before we could get situated, but it was worth it.

Immediately my body was shaking not from the temperature but from the rough thrusting he could deliver on the not-squeaky floor. It became harder to keep my mouth silent as I bit my lip, arching into him and making divots in his back to pull him into me. This was all I wanted - the passion that I was missing. His body told me exactly what he wanted, and mine replied. I needed him. I needed this. When we finally finished and settled in for bed (wrapped together in a sleep-suitable embrace), we didn't wake up for ten hours.

In the "morning", we surveyed the situation. Most of the band had gone off in search of coffee. We were virtually alone, and both needed a shower, so we got in. It started out as most of our showers do - we have a ritual which includes the order of things we use (shampoo, soap, etc) and how we trade off under the water. I thought he was just being generous would he offered to let me stand in the water out of turn, with my back to him. He began feeling all over my body, clutching my breasts to hold me against him. I smiled, relaxed, and turned my head to kiss him.

The next thing I knew, I felt his cock sliding up and down against my ass. I immediately pressed back against him, driven crazy by the feeling. He knows that if he wants to turn me on, all he has to do is gently touch my ass. I closed my eyes and let the water roll over my shoulders. His cock continued to tease me. I remembered what he had said to me in our desires for stronger intensity in the night before: "I want to fuck you hard. I want to really take you. I want to fuck your ass." Funny how we want the same things.

"Put your hands against the wall," he told me. I did so, bending my body so that I was offering myself to him. This time his cock was no tease. I pressed back against him, and in a wonderfully slow, deliberate motion, I let him inside my ass. He fucked me slowly, and I did everything I could not to cry out. It was steady - the motion was not feverish like it had been the night before, but I could feel the tension in his body, when I turned my head to kiss him I could taste how close he was to orgasm.

I began to notice my legs going numb, and gradually my hands as well. The sensation was so intense that it was taking over my whole body. I began to recognize the symptoms, but I tried to put it off. I wanted him to come, and my body was swimming in pleasure. Too much pleasure. I clutched at the wall, at the water, but both were fruitless. My shaking legs held me up just long enough to feel his cum on me. At that point, I turned, grabbed his shoulders, kissed him, and said softly, "I'm going to faint." My hands slid down his body and I folded at his feet in the basin of the shower tub, and I kept my word.

Needless to say, he was concerned. He sat with me, made sure the water was the right temperature, and gave me the most worried look as he asked me over and over if I was okay. I was perfectly fine. I am very used to fainting, and I had to reassure him that everything was okay. "You always said your goal was to make me faint," I told him. Once, during the first few weeks of our romance, when he was going down on me the orgasms were so good I felt as though I could faint. When I told him this, he made it his goal. "But it's scary when it really happens," he informed me. I got back to my feet and kissed him.

a change like that is just so hard to do

2009-01-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

Whilst browsing the internet, adding sex toys to my wish lists (oh yes, I have more than one), I was struck by what should have been a painfully obvious realization - I like having sex again. Not only do I like having sex with my partner, but I'm finally back in tune with my own body enough to enjoy some good ol' fashioned solo sex. Around December 11th, I officially began tapering off of my antidepressants (I had to - they had run out). The goal then, with prescription in hand, was to immediately start on a new medication, Welbutrin. But if you know me, then it's safe to assume that anything which involves getting in a car and driving somewhere to fulfill an errand is not my style. Rather than deal with the hassle, I decided - why bother with the stress? Not the stress of getting my prescription filled, but the stress of waiting anxiously to see if the medication works, the frustration if it didn't, and all that mess. On top of everything else that went wrong over my winter break, I simply didn't need that.

It was a more informed decision than all that, of course. The decision to go off my medication and stay off is one that I've wanted to do practically since I first began taking it. I have never been a fan of medication, which you can count on my mother to vouch for me on that one. Taking pills, etc. doesn't factor into my medical phobia, but I am still weird about drugs of any kind. I don't like my body's natural state to be messed with - it's something that has always just been "one of those things" about me. I rarely noticed any effects from over the counter medication growing up, so I have very little dependency on headache medicine and all that jazz (though I do take it, and recommend various things to others when they are feeling ill). I was an extremely sick child (still am!)- I got sick all the time (ear infections most frequently), so doctors offices bore me and antibiotics are just another part of my yearly routine.

But what's my point, you ask? In the medications I do take, or have to take depending on my sinus infection of the week, I see very little harm. In any other sort of medication, I do. If I am taking antidepressants and still feeling depressed, then not only do I not have control over my feelings, but I have relied on something else to control them that failed. I hate that idea. I hate intoxicants for a similar reason - I can feel euphoric on my own, and I would always rather enjoy a situation without the aid of alcohol or anything else. I'm the one kid from my graduating class that stuck to their D.A.R.E. program, I guess. Going on antidepressants was necessary for me, but it took a lot to get myself to do it. I always would rather not be on them.

So here I am, a few weeks later, and loving my decision. Not only has my sex drive returned, a lot of me that I forgot about has returned as well. Yes, I am more emotional now. Yes, every single goddamn song in the Lion King made me cry when I watched it with my boyfriend recently. But so far, I haven't had that same apathetic feeling I've grown so used to. There have definitely been ups and downs, but for some reason I feel a renewed strength in being able to manage the downs. When I start to get upset, I process it, break it down, and usually come out okay afterward. That is, in a word, productive.

I've moved out of my ill-fated apartment, and into the house which my brother shares with two of his friends. I like it here - although it is cold, my room is in the back of the house, so it is quiet. My bunny and guinea pig are welcome here, and there are two adorable, friendly cats wandering around. My brother's friends - a couple - are both very nice, and I get along with them so far. It's a bit farther away from campus than my last place was, but biking there doesn't take long at all, and biking is also helping me a lot: it's encouraging me that I will strengthen my heart/lungs a bit (mine are inherently weak), and also get into a little bit better shape. Things seem possible right now.

Not everything is wonderful, but everything is manageable. That is the biggest thing for me, and for a lot of people who suffer from depression. I'm taking care of myself, and if I continue to do so, I don't think I will fill that Welbutrin prescription at all - maybe 2009 is a year in which I can be me, own me, and be happy with that. Unfortunately, this beloved sex drive of mine is only going to be seeing solo use for a while - the boyfriend is off on tour again. Jeez, live your dreams why don't you. But, his band is stopping by my town in a week, so perhaps this blog will get an account of a hot mid-tour sex break? I hope so.

Pleasurists #12

2009-01-12T17:40:00.000-08:00

Geisha by Steal Your Soul Photography

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #11? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #13? Submit it here before Sunday January 26th at 11:59pm PST. Note: there will be no Pleasurists next week, January 19th due to the editrix moving to Seattle. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to be part of the Best Sex Toy Reviewers List of 2008?

Nominate your favorite Sex Toy Reviewers! Deadline: January 25th at 11:59pm PST.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Win a Pink Kink Kit! Deadline: January 26th, 2009
Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Fun Factory Laya Spot by Thursday’s Child

I think I might finally understand all of the buzz surrounding the Laya Spot! I’m a fan of strong vibrators, and most of the battery powered vibrators just can’t compare to my go-to vibrator, the Hitachi Magic Wand. But this funny little vibrator is strong! Really strong. And quiet, too!

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Dildos

Ella by Carnivalesq
Phallix Cobalt Twister by Epiphora

Anal Toys

Wanda Anal Probe by Shasta Gibson

Toys for Boys

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Chocolate Body Paint by Alisa

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn

Toy Storage

Adult Toybox by Syntax

Miscellaneous

how many toys can i fit in

2009-01-09T14:51:00.000-08:00

I don't remember ever having a toy box as a child. I had a few storage boxes in my closet where I could stash numerous sets of small things (LEGOs, Playmobil, Littlest Pet Shop), but for the most part I always liked to display my collections in full. I had, at one point, six large shelves to show off my collection of toy horses and My Little Ponies. I had two large Barbie houses to show off all my barbies. My stuffed animals have always found some corner of my room to be stacked up in (usually organized by species - dog stuffed animals are on top of my armoire). Needless to say, I've always been into display.

But when it comes to sex toys, forgive me, but I'm a little less open to showing them off with the world. I could care less if my friends saw them, but Mom, brother, maintenance man - I'd rather not deal with that sort of awkward situation. Still, throwing all my toys in the top drawer of my dresser, usually still in their original packaging as my only method of storage, is not working out for me. For this reason, I asked my boyfriend the following question: Do you want to go down to Goodwill and find a gross old briefcase to put our sex toys in, or buy a fancy one? His reply was, "Well, when you put it like that, I don't want them in a gross old thing..."

With the go-ahead given, I hopped on For Your Nymphomation and picked out the Adult Toy Box in Purple Faux Leather. Now, since I've never had a toy box before, this was as exciting of a purchase as a Breyer Horse Stable (is anyone getting creeped out by my connections of sex toys to childhood yet?).

Now, I've got to be honest here. I wasn't really in that much suspense waiting for my case to arrive in the mail. I didn't wonder how big it would really be, or how the purple, marble-looking leather would appear/feel in person. Epiphora has the same toy box, so I've already met it before. This was why I knew it would be a good choice - the marble purple color is gorgeous, and none of the other boxes have that detail. Don't get me wrong, I almost went for the shiny red... but it was a little too shiny for me. (And it doesn't fit in with my purple theme, now does it?)

But, however lacking in suspense my wait was, I was still excited to introduce my sex toys to the case. Dimension wise, the Adult Toy Box is fairly small. It is smaller than a gross old briefcase, but it is considerably nicer than one. At 12" wide x 9" high x 2.25" deep, the box is lined in black with the same material you would use to line a coat or jacket (I'm not sure of the specific fabric used here). It zips 3/4 of the way around with a zipper in a matching outer color (so in this case, purple). One of my favorite features on the Adult Toy Box are the zipper pulls - little ovals with the FYN logo on them which are glow in the dark. Okay, not only are glow in the dark things awesome, but if you're storing the case under your bed (like I am), the glow in the dark zipper pulls make it easy to quickly spot the case.

Even though the case is moderately small, I thought with certainty that it would fit all my toys. WRONG. It would fit all my toys well enough, but not all my BDSM materials. I don't have any whips or other large items, either - I'm just talking about the Submissive Bondage kit and add-ons I purchased. With a sigh I pressed on, committed to fitting everything else at least in the box. On the lid of the box, there is an elastic band, sewn down at certain spots so that you can fit various objects in it. I've found very little use for this band. I have my handcuff key lodged in there, but the other spots are either too small to fit anything, or too large and things slip out. I want to fill the basin of the case with things, so if I put large objects in the lid there would be no where for them to rest.

The basin, likewise, has another feature I don't use much. There is a pocket where you could presumably store things, but I don't. My handcuffs and a few packets of lube are in there. Flat things that won't get in the way of the rest of my storage. That said, all of my toys fit nicely in the box. Occasionally I've been able to fit small lingerie items in amongst them as well. My box currently has Mia (in box), Crave ankle and wrist restraints, three regular sized vibrators (7"-10" long), and three smaller sized toys (4"-5" long) in it. It is about full at that much (of course, I can take Mia out of the box if I need more room).

Although I have no need for the "extra features" of the Adult Toy Box (the elastic band and pouch), here are some things I like about it: the size is perfect for someone with a smaller collection of toys, or if you want to store a specific portion of your toys. It is a convenient case which works perfectly for travel - if it's not big enough to house your collection at home, it is certainly just the right size to take a enough toys with you on vacation that you won't get bored. For me, this is especially ideal because I can cart my toys back and forth between my boyfriend's place and mine - which, I must remind you, is a two-hour commute so it's not satisfying to simply throw Mia in my purse for a night. The case is discreet - there's nothing about it that screams "SEX TOYS IN HERE," yet it is cute and much nicer than a plain old box or briefcase.

I don't feel weird when I carry it down the street. It's just a little bit larger than a box style lunchbox, after all, so it's enough of an accessory to not attract unwanted attention. (I can't imagine the same experience walking with a suitcase full of toys down the street). Overall, I'd say, this box isn't meant to house a whole collection for a serious sex toy addict, but for someone with just a few toys it would. But, as I've said, the plus of this case is really its use as a mobility case. If you and your sex toys need to get somewhere, this is a stylish, just-the-right-size box to do so. Still, I can't help but lust after a permanent toy box, can I?

Okay, that's my last child reference, I swear. Perhaps the toy box of my dreams is actually the Big Foot. This box also comes in purple faux leather, so it would match. Why is this the box of my dreams, you ask? Because I literally had a dream the other night that I got one. I take it as an omen.

old haunts

2009-01-02T22:04:00.000-08:00

It's fun to reflect on the various ways sex came into my life before it really did. The first sex shop I ever went into was Spartacus. The first real corset I ever purchased was from Spartacus. I got it when I was 16, so I could dress up and attend an interactive screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. To my despise, one of the two locations in my town closed - the one that was closer to me. But, as it turns out, I now live quite close to the remaining Spartacus. I go in there every once in a while to fawn over the gorgeous vinyl shoes and fancy lingerie, but I don't spend too much time behind "the beaded curtain" - the 18 and over sex shop half of the store.

Of course, getting to go behind the beaded curtain when I turned 18 was another milestone in my sexual exploration. There are other porn stores/adult stores in my area, many of which I've been inside of, but for some reason I've always kept coming back to Spartacus. I remember that first cross into the adult section very well. That sort of situation - the sex shop visit with your friends - is always going to be full of giggling at the monster-sized "realistic" cocks, but inside I began making a mental note of things I might want to come back for some day. Those handcuffs look nice... Hmm, edible body paint...

At that point in time, my friends had no idea how kinky my brain was. Some of them still don't know, or at least they haven't expressed their knowledge to me. But one thing that all of my friends have always had in common is the love for a good trip to Spartacus. I hadn't been there in a while, and as my friends and I trudged in, looking at the cupcake patterned corsets and lime green hotpants, I realized something. I hadn't been in Spartacus since before my sex toy reviewing took off. I was suddenly excited - I would actually recognize different brands of toys, I would be able to see and compare things that I'd been looking at online for months.

"I'm going to the back," I said, and slipped away. I did have a mission in coming here, but we'll get to that. I circled around to look at the Japanese bondage rope, the various whips hanging up for me to touch. I compared the miniature purple whips with the 20" Crave whip - there is an obvious difference in quality, not just in size, which I wouldn't have known online. I could see all the different colors of the Spartacus cuffs and blindfolds side by side. Then I found what I was looking for - the Crave Ball Gag. I want to purchase a few other things in the Crave line to go along with my cuffs, and this was one that I wanted to see with my own eyes to see if it would be worth purchasing. I've been looking for a good Ball Gag for a long time, and this was the current contender.

Unfortunately, upon meeting it, I was immediately disappointed. The 1.5" ball was too small for my liking. I've seen jelly latex, rubber, and silicone gags and of the three, I'm placing my bets on silicone. This was rubber, and a rumor from Beautiful Dreamer lent me the knowledge that the Crave gag has a bad rubber smell. All this, perhaps, I could have forgiven, if only it had the same sleek beauty of the Crave line. Purple leather = check. Beautiful? No check. It was much cheaper looking than all the other crave items, and it just didn't do anything for me.

I turned my attention to the other gags, but nothing really struck me as extraordinary. I smiled to myself at the loud conversation of the gentlemen next to me, all discussion which lubricants they use: "You use KY?! SERIOUSLY?" Continuing on, I browsed what was left to explore, and in a glass case found a collection of toys which seemed to jump right off my Eden Fantasys Wish List. There, displayed in her black box, was the purple Elise - the vibrator of my dreams. Much bigger than I expected, the Elise is definitely a pleasure object which pleases the eye as well. But right next to her were my two favorite Phallix glass dildos, which I had never seen in person. And, I must say, they are positively gorgeous.

The Cobalt blue dichroic G-spot dildo is more beautiful in person than it could ever be online, and if there weren't a case separating the two of us I can't vouch for what my actions would have been. Equally stunning was the Multi-colored pearlescent double dong, which although it is reminiscent of an oil spill, it is lovely. These three toys have made it to the top of my wishlist for 2009.

I've always loved Spartacus, but for some reason this proved to me that it is the store which was meant for me. Of all the Phallix toys they could have carried, they just happened to pick two of my favorites. What are the chances? But in the process of shopping, I learned something which every online sex geek should remember: no matter how fun it is to browse online sex shops, there is nothing that compares to going into a good sex store and seeing (and hopefully touching) the toys you drool all over at home. There's no better way to learn what not to buy, and what you really, really need.

the color of sex

2008-12-29T15:09:00.000-08:00

When you think of sex, what color comes to mind? Red? Black? Leopard print? While all of these seem logical for some reason, I have discovered that the color of sex is not, in fact, ruby red, but purple. And no, this isn't just because I chose to make purple the accent color on my blog (though it is oh so pretty). Purple is nowhere near my favorite color, but somehow it is showing up all over my sex toys! I think it's rather hilarious, to be quite honest. I didn't intend for this trend to arise, but now that it has I'm sticking with it.

Now, purple comes in a lot of shades. My first sex toys were pink and blue. No thank you. It wasn't until the Dial-a-Dream that I started shifting toward the purple scheme. Now this purple is on the fuchsia side, and it's a shade pinker than the Deep Rose Mia which would later join this team. But recently I've seen a dramatic dark purple take over, and a lot of it are things I don't even own (YET). With the metallic, gorgeous Ryder, I opened a door to a variety of Tantus toys to match - on the top of my list are Echo and the Large Ripple, which I intend to purchase soon.

All of this will fit very nicely in my new For Your Nymphomation Purple Faux Leather Adult Toy Box, acquired care of the lovely Epiphora. And, along with my other purple goodies, I'm now storing my dark purple Crave Wrist Restraints and Ankle Restraints by Spartacus, which I won from the lovely Essin' Em thanks to her Haiku contest. The purple is multiplying! (Did I mention the purple Crave strap whip and purple Crave Collar with Nipple Clamps would also look nice in that purple toy box?)

I'll be reviewing the restraints and the Toy Box soon, so look out for those. But first of all, since this entry wasn't littered with enough links, I'm going to do a bit of background story to plug one other blogger - my boyfriend! Realizing the majority of our sex toys follow a purple theme was independent of this event, but it happened around the same time: we were hanging out with a few of his work friends at a favorite sleazy diner, catching up on all the gossip related to their coworkers. The waitresses at the restaurant where they work are very open about their sex lives. We learned that one of the waitresses has taken to using a strap-on with her boyfriend, using a purple dildo (I hope it's a Tantus!) to fuck him. Apparently, my boyfriend's friend can't get the image of that purple dildo out of his head.

If only he knew what went on in our bedroom, eh? It was so hard to contain myself sitting there, realizing that my boyfriend and I are just as wild (if not more so) than these waitresses, and yet very few people know this. The incident is recorded here, in my boyfriend's blog which is all about the scandals and humorous events which transpire at his workplace. As I sit here writing this, he's attempting to drum up material for his blog. We've agreed to have "blog post writing dates" to keep our respective sites up to speed. It's a good thing, too, since I've got some review to get working on.

In the meantime, what color is sexy to you? Is there a color scheme in your sex toys/lingerie/bed sheets which speaks sex to you? I'm interested to see if this phenomena only happened to me, or if it happens to all of us. Of course, the sex toy industry might have a little bit of say in all this since they're the ones who choose what colors to make our toys in... but let's forget about that minor detail, shall we?

since we've no place to go

2008-12-22T20:18:00.001-08:00

First of all, I'd like to thank those of you who've given me kind words in regards to my burglary situation. It really is a pity that something like this had to happen so close to Christmas, but with the support of others it helps me get one step closer to remembering that not all areas of humanity are horrible. The past few days have been very difficult for me, trying to work through how I feel about everything and get back to a place where I can be happy again. Taking things one step at a time is the only way to go about it, but I have to say that it would have been impossible to make any progress at all without my friends, family, and even the online community there to offer sympathy and support. So, thank you. Truly.

I've been doing little things to take my mind off of everything. I allowed myself to indulge on a purchase - something that is obscure enough no thief is ever going to steal it - and I'm starting to get more excited about it and the little things again. It's been snowing consistently since I got back in town after checking on my apartment, and I'm sufficiently snowed in with over a foot of snow outside. White, powdery, gorgeous snow which I am very pleased to stare at every day (even if it is making me a little stir crazy). I've been watching television shows and movies on my computer with the boyfriend, curled up under the covers with my head on his shoulder. And even though when it comes time for us to go to sleep I start to get scared, and he has to assure me that nothing bad will happen while I'm asleep, I'm getting a little bit better.

Better enough, at least, to work on a project that is long in the making - turning my boyfriend into a Dominant. Before me, he didn't really explore sex. It's safe to say, however, that we have brought out the best in each other - experimenting with anything that sounds remotely appealing to either of us. The result has been, time after time, a great success. We have found a variety of positions, scenarios, fantasies, and other sexual habits that work out very well between us. One of which, of course, is a (bedroom only) D/s relationship which I have mentioned before. He never knew that having complete control over me would turn him on so much, but it does, and I couldn't be happier.

Still, it's a work in progress. He doesn't always feel comfortable asserting himself in situations where he's afraid he could be hurting or upsetting me, so I have to help him along, and give me ideas of the kinds of things that I like. I am not a porn watcher, but one thing that definitely has the potential to open him up to his Dominant side is seeing examples of what I want done to me. And what better place is there to go than the plethora of BDSM pornography that can be found on the wonderful Kink.com?

Last night, kept in once again by the snow outside, I showed him a variety of trailers Kink features on their sites, from the extreme bondage at Hogtied to what can hopefully be the story of my life at Sex & Submission. Of course this resulted in a few "Jeez, that looks like it really hurts!" from my boyfriend, but that didn't deter him from wanting my hand down his pants while we watched, ultimately culminating in us closing the laptop and fucking.

"Can I dress up for you?" I asked. He nodded his assent, watching me greedily as I shed my clothing to put on the Temptress Bra Set EF had recently sent me to review. Within seconds, I was at his side. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me back and forth between his mouth and his cock, alternately forced into kissing him deeply or sucking him. His hands worked over my body, grabbing the lacy thong of the outfit and pulling it tight. "I want to really tie you up. Have a rope strung between your legs," he says, referencing the Japanese rope bondage we had just seen. The feeling of the thong pulled tight against my ass turned me on and made me really want it, too. My fingers dug into his skin, wanting something firm to hold onto as I was forced to pleasure him, but he was not going to give me control of my hands for long.

Forcing off his clothes, he climbed on top of me, pinning my hands down - both of them held tightly against the bed in one of his. With his other hand, he began spanking my nipples, pulling one of my breasts out of the fishnet bra and exposing it to his teeth and fingers. I moaned happily at the sensation, writhing against his hips which held my own firmly down. Without hesitation, he pulled the lacy fabric of the fishnet thong away from my pussy, shoving himself inside of me without even bothering to take the garment off. I cried out as I felt him begin to thrust against me, but he covered my mouth with his own to silence me. I was already wet enough for him to begin fucking me hard, and I could hardly contain myself at the sensation.

I love the feeling of being taken forcefully without any delay. Although I'm also a fan of long, drawn-out foreplay, I'm a sucker for being fucked with abandon. And that is exactly how he gave it to me last night. Pinned in place, unable to resist him, I had to watch as he fucked me, slid in and out of me, whispering in my ear how dirty it was to watch the things we did on Kink together. "I love being able to use you," he said. And I love to be used by him. My body was coursing with the happy sensation of pleasuring and be pleasured. I begged him to let me put my legs on his shoulders. He obliged, fucking my g-spot and making me cry out until he was driven to come on my chest. Heaving underneath him, finally released, I didn't have any need to move now. Even sex like this is followed with "I love you."

Soon, I'll be posting a review of the Temptress Bra Set to EF, but for now let's just say it did its job of a) being sexy, b) making me feel sexy, and c) staying on throughout fucking, even when it's not meant to. For that I say it deserves its applause, and also for making a cold snowy night very hot indeed.

twice in one day. almost normal.

2008-12-17T17:57:00.000-08:00

When I first started having sex, I kept a tally of the number of times that I did it. Over time, this began to get complicated. What qualified as having sex - was vaginal intercourse the only one that did? If neither of us came, did it still count? Did oral sex, anal sex, or any other variety count? I'm still not sure how to judge the matter. I stopped keeping track somewhere around 150, and it would be impossible for me to make an up-to-date tally at this point, but even so, how reliable could it be?

The tally began when I had my first vaginal intercourse experience, but if I was to include all the other forms of sex out there, technically the tally should have began way before I lost my virginity. If the merit of a sexual encounter is based on orgasms, I've made myself come way too many times to count. The first time my boyfriend made me come was before the first time we had "sex," so clearly that doesn't work. But it wouldn't be fair to count times that we had sex and didn't orgasm, would it? Ah, too complicated.

So I abandoned the tally. It was only for fun anyway, just a silly little thing only a nerd like me would do. But, it did help at the time to get a good perspective of how active my boyfriend and I's sex life was. Reviewing the tally back in the day, he would look at me and say, "Wow. We have a lot of sex, don't we?" And I always felt pretty good about that. One of his friends (jokingly) dared him to have sex with me twenty times in the week following my return from Europe over the summer. We made it to twenty on the eighth day after I got back.

But even though I don't keep track anymore, the counting had its influence on me. I ultimately had to abandon it because I realized that sex for me is not as easily defined as penis + vagina = orgasm. I enjoy sex in many forms, and I am sure that there are many others out there who explore even more ways than I do. But whether my boyfriend and I are making love under the covers or fucking for hours with me tied up and blindfolded, we never have sex the same way twice.

So, it's a little pointless for me to say "I had sex twice yesterday!" but, in a simplified version, I did. Why is that cool? Because I actually wanted to. While soaping up in the shower, my boyfriend's dick felt too good sliding against my ass not to let him inside me. When we got home from our romantic date night (cheese fries + onion rings and a Van Damme movie), I actually felt turned on for once. He went down on me until I came, immediately followed by pleasurable fucking. So I suppose my former post was a little premature - the Lexapro is working its way out of my system, and yesterday felt like the first day in a long time where I returned to a state of happiness/contentness/sexualness.

we're still fighting it

2008-12-16T14:18:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling rather off lately. In fact, I've been feeling rather off for a long time - unfortunately, this feeling has prevented me from being able to get off. Last year, for the first time in my life, I lost what I had come to revere as an incredible sex drive. I have always been able to get aroused easily, and it would be fair to say that if I masturbated every day, I would be able to come more than once each time. Naturally, it freaked me out when I began to realize, day after day, that I couldn't come anymore.

This, and other things, spurred me to realize that I was not only overstressed, but severely depressed. I sought professional help and went on the antidepressant Lexapro. I cannot say for certain if the medication helped, because a lot in my life changed at that same moment. I got together with my current boyfriend. He restored my sex drive (not to full tilt, but significantly). Stresses calmed down. I made it through the school year feeling much better.

I stopped taking Lexapro for the summer, since I would be living with my boyfriend and therefore preventing the separation issues which were causing a lot of my depression. Aside from some aggravating withdrawal symptoms, the choice was a good one. However, when I went back to school in fall, I started taking the medication again to avoid a new set of depression which is so often linked with schooling there for me. This was a bad idea. I started experiencing side effects which I didn't have the first time around. Vivid, usually bad, dreams. And my old friend loss of libido.

Last week, I went in to my doctor to see about changing my medication to avoid these side effects. The wonderful news? All anti-depressants can have libidinal side effects. I am incredibly discouraged. Orgasming during sex doesn't happen for me anymore. Orgasm by clitoral stimulation is rare. I have changed from a person who wants to have sex all the time, to someone who feels disappointed with it. It's not good. The biggest problem is that I still love sex with my boyfriend, but the inability to be physically stimulated by it anymore makes me feel bad about myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm letting him down by not being able to come. He understands the situation fully and I know he doesn't feel this way, but I do.

I just want to have great sex again. Since my winter break began, and I've been able to be closer to him every day (we live together when I'm not at school), the frequency of sex of course has increased. But it's lacking - for me. I am tapering off the Lexapro and my doctor prescribed a new medication to try. Of course I'll take these steps. But I'm worried that this stupid problem is going to get in the way of a great thing. What's a girl to do? Should I cut out the antidepressants and risk depression, or should I stay on them and lose my sexual satisfaction? Fuck this choice. Needless to say, I haven't been feeling very sex bloggy lately, so this is my apology for a lack of recent updates.

a night in

2008-12-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

Her eyes were half-closed. There was a certainly laziness to her look, but not one of pampered luxury. The look was worn, weary, betraying certain toils which had perhaps eclipsed physical hardships in favor of mental ones. A heavy sigh escaped her body, rippling through her chest and stomach as she turned ever so slightly to face me. Her back was still pressed flat against the mattress, but one gently curving arm had crossed over her bare ribs, searching until it found a piece of my flesh to hold onto. Her cold fingers wound around my wrist, tangling themselves in the silver bracelets I habitually wore.

My eyes skimmed over the delicate muscles of her neck, pulled taunt as she turned her head to the right toward mine. From the very beginning, we had established our own sides of the bed. I was used to looking at her from this angle, but sometimes she would curl up against my pillows instead of hers, and I loved looking at her in the same way I loved seeing her in my clothes. But for now, she was where she was supposed to be, those tired eyes slowly opening to their full width.

"I can't help it," I told her, using the hand which wasn't in her grasp to brush the top of her head affectionately. "Sometimes I look at you and I'm so filled with love I just have to have you." Her lips formed a smile, tiny but uniquely hers. Sincere. She is so tired. I just want to hold her and make her feel better. Scooting closer, I pulled my body to hers, savoring the feeling of our bare stomachs pressed together and smiling as her legs snaked around mine.

"I just want to be close to you," I continued, a quiet whisper spoken into her hair. Her grip around me tightens, her fingernails beginning to press into the skin around my shoulder blades. My eyes fluttered closed, followed by a delirious sigh which was unavoidable. Our bodies, already wound together, are turning under her command, until I am looking down into her face from on top of her.

"Take me then," she says invitingly, running her hands down my sides and holding onto my hips, pulling me against her. I'm already hard for her. Her hips are moving against my body and I cannot control the way I move in response to her. It is a natural reaction, as if our bodies were made for this above all other purposes. Her legs open wider, and I press against her gently. Taking over the rhythm, I begin to thrust against her with more intensity, her body still luke warm with exhaustion. But slowly I feel the heat under her skin rising, the tightening of her fingers in my skin, and the soft kisses on my lips turning into long, firm ones.

With a little gasp, she lets me into her, growing wetter as she grows warmer. At once, I am lost inside her. Lost in the sensations of tightness and warmth around me, the little moans she gives as I reach deep inside of her, or the instant grip she holds me down with if I threaten to retreat. In between her frantic kisses she breathes heavily in my ear, her face pressed against the side of mine as she clings fervently to me and responds to the motion I put inside of her. I feel her struggling slightly, and look down at her. The brief distraction gives her enough time to pull her legs upward. "Let me," she says, sliding her feet over my chest until her legs are up on my shoulders. The position, meant for gymnasts, it seems, sets my heart pounding.

I continue to drive against her, this time to stunted breaths and held-back, would-be loud moans. The pleasure of this is too much for both of us. Before long, I pull out of her, coming on that same stomach whose gentle breathing had caused me to get into all of this to begin with. That last pull had sent her over the edge as well, and I can feel her body contracting in pleasure underneath my hands. Slowly, our lips meet again in a soft kiss. "I'm sorry. I just had to have you, sweetie."

"I love you," she says, grabbing my wrist.

Pleasurists #7

2008-12-08T13:03:00.000-08:00

I'm featured in this week's Pleasurists round-up ;D

Seven by Jean Paul Four

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #6? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #8? Submit it here before Sunday December 14th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Holiday Kit Swag Giveaway Deadline: 11:59 pm MST on Friday, December 12th.
Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Babeland Penis Cupcake Pan by Mariella
“The gritty stickiness of frosting on my hands, between my fingers; a bowl of the flesh-colored remnants still sitting in the fridge. A lone plate on the kitchen table. Fragrant, still warm–six little cocks, all lined up in a neat little row.”

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators
Mia Oh My by Syntax
We-Vibe by Amber of Scarlet’s Letter
The Cry Baby by Elizabeth of Pornocracy
Rock Chick by Adriana
Cry Baby by Nadia West
Odyssey Tickler and Sweet G by The Countess
The We-Vibe by Marky D Sade
Liv Vibrator by Sinclair Sexsmith
Mini Corsair by Rori of Between My Sheets
Kama Diva by Bad Bad Girl
Paris Ducky by Monkey

Dildos
Ophoria Pleasure No. 6 by Beautiful Dreamer
Hardwood Dildo by Ansley Agnello
Ophoria Pleasure No. 6 by Epiphora
Dotted Delight by N
Fun Factory Delight by Sexorcism
Candy Cane by Alpine Subdreams
Ophoria Suction Cup Dildo by Roxy of Uncommon Curiosity

Anal Toys
Bob by LELO by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
Nobessence Linger by Epiphora

Toys for Boys
Luxury Toys for Boys - LELO Bo by Thursday’s Child
Bliss Love Ring by The Countess
Trojan Ultra Thin Lubricated Condom Review by Shasta Gibson

Sex Kits
Kama Sutra Weekender Kit by Hot Movies For Her Sex Toy Crew
Orchid G and Female Ejaculation Combo by Sexorcism

Lube/Massage Oil
Boy Butter - His ‘n’ Hers Review by Thursday’s Child
Lava Lotion Massage Candle by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
Playing Goldilocks by Essin’ Em
Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare Lubricant by Shasta Gibson

BDSM/Fetish
Under the Bed Restraints Rock My Socks by Panthera Pardus
Kinklab Vampire Gloves by Betty Rocket
Super Cuffs from Babeland by Alpine Subdreams
Catalina Loves Lazy Bondage by Catalina
Door Jam Bondage Device by Shasta Gibson
Black Suede Flogger by Dangerous Lilly

Erotic Books/Games
Island Girls - Tropical Lesbian Erotica by The Porn Librarian
Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Essin’ Em
Tantric Lovers Game by The Countess
Spank me… No, Really by Saucy Nights
“Bedding Down” - A Collection of Winter Erotica by That Toy Chick

Adult Movies/Porn
Rituals in Ropes by The Porn Librarian
Voluptuous Biker Babes by J.D. Bauchery
Nina Laid Bare by The Porn Librarian
Bondage Boobtube by Domina Doll
Jenna Loves Pain by Bad Bad Girl
Tail of a Bondage Model by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
Bride of Sin by Ansley Agnello

Miscellaneous
Mo’s Sexy Black & Pink Box! by Mollena
Climax Bursts Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner by Domina Doll
Jenna’s Bubble Bath by The Countess
The Jaguar Harness by Thursday’s Child
The Wedge/Ramp Combo from Liberator by Ellie Lumpesse

getting lucky

2008-12-03T18:58:00.001-08:00

Up until now, I have never put into words why/how exactly I went about having sex. It was a big deal for me, as it is for most people. Of course, I gave the matter a lot of thought - more thought than I needed to, at times - but I never attempted to get it out in written form. So, for the first time, I offer you a somewhat disjointed account of why I chose to lose my virginity at the ripe age of 20.

In America, sex is a complicated issue. Of course, it doesn't have to be – our society simply chooses to make it that way. But I am frustrated. I spent so many days of my life worrying about sexuality that I stifled my own ability to express something that I have come to think of as a healthy, natural part of human nature. I would love to be able to blame society for the fact that it took me so long to embrace my sexuality, but in the end I let myself become stifled by the system, and share a slice of that blame myself.

Neither of my parents are politically conservative, and neither have any active sort of religious affiliation. My brother and I grew up in a household that encouraged morality, dedication to work and ethics, and clear definitions of "right" and "wrong" without any superstructure backing it up. Even in this open and doctrine-less world, I still managed to fall prey to the same negative influences of my more closed-minded neighbors – the suburb I lived in was much more conservative than the liberal metropolis hub it is a part of, and my public school education followed a conservative vein.

I let myself believe in the abstinence education taught to me in middle school. I signed the back of a card say that I was worth waiting for. I never once heard about the physical or emotional benefits of sex. As far as my educators wanted to inform me, only STDs and pregnancy resulted from heterosexual sex, and – as far as they were concerned – homosexual sex didn't even exist. Because I was never religious, waiting until marriage to have sex didn't make sense for me – but that was what I bought into for many years. I knew that I wasn't ready for sex because no one had prepared me for it – I didn't know what I wanted to know, and whenever I thought about it, I had to say, "well, I can't possibly make my mind up about this. So I might as well just abstain."

By the time I was actually getting into relationships, I was still believing in celibacy. My first real boyfriend was the first person to call me "straight edge," which at the time I was offended by and protested against such a label. Well, really, I just protest against labels in general. By all means, I was straight-edge, as defined by the punks following Minor Threat's lead. Today, I'm more than happy to associate myself with that label, though still refuse to personally wear any badges, nametags, or other labeling items in a literal or figurative sense.

I had no persuasion to break away from my habits (or lack thereof!) anytime soon. That first boyfriend – I wasn't at all sexually attracted to him. At that age, sexual attraction meant looking at someone and feeling like I wanted to lose my virginity to them. I could be physically attracted to someone without having a sexual attraction, as weird as that sounds. Of all my various high school crushes, only one of them made it to the "sexual attraction" list, and I never made it past light conversation with that boy.

I moved on. Things were weird. I knew that I didn't want to have sex any time soon, but on the rare occasion that a boy or celebrity could make it into my head as, "oh, hell yes I would have sex with him," I was immediately confused. Why was it that for some people, I wanted to give my whole body to them, and to others I wanted to hide it away? I now realize that this was probably due to my extreme desire to explore the sexual side of myself that I had always been aware of, but society's influence was telling me not to – society was telling me to wait for the one. So I was waiting for the one, and I knew that unless that extra spark – that "sexual attraction" was really there, and a mental one was too, I couldn't proceed.

As I grew up, and the internet grew up, I was able to inform myself about sexuality on my own terms. I no longer was afraid of it – I answered all the questions that I wanted to know. I began discussing more openly with my friends how sexuality related to me. I got myself to a place of mental understanding and preparedness that, I felt, I could actually enter into a mature relationship where sex could be on the table, and I could deal with it how I wanted to. But there was still something wrong – I hadn't had enough relationship experience to trust my own judgment, and I wanted that experience before I jumped into bed. Although I had come a long way toward an open sexuality, I was still an avowed celibate.

My next relationship began, and I was given the time to grow up that I needed. I knew I still wasn't ready for sex, and told my boyfriend that early on. I believed at the time that if our relationship continued and strengthened I would be able to add sex to it. But once again, there was one thing I overlooked – he didn't spark me with that "sexual attraction" thing. My definition of it – the clear, dramatic, passionate, craving sort of sexual attraction. But even though our relationship was never destined to be "the" relationship for me, I learned a lot, and the two years I spent in it matured me in many ways, and prepared me for the next phase.

When I met my current boyfriend, I wasn't meeting him for the first time. I'd met him and seen him many years earlier, but had never actually gotten to know him. Back then, there certainly wasn't any spark. But a year or two prior to our "important" meeting, I had for the first time looked at him and thought, "you know, we could date." My good friend was dating one of his best friends, which I suppose eased this thought into my mind. All three of them had gone with me to a concert. I spent that night sneaking coy glances at him, laughing at his jokes, and imagining that the four of us were on a double date.

Then I erased him from my mind. He would only resurface due to a series of significant chances, statements, and decisions all surrounding another concert – one his band was playing, opening for one of my favorite bands. With the perks of a backstage pass and free admission, I was more than excited to go – but in the week leading up to the concert, my brain was doing summersaults. As a result of depression, my sex drive had been crushed for a long time, but suddenly it was stirring again. I had a lot of important decisions to make on my part, the biggest being whether or not I would try and flirt with him. One night, while fantasizing myself to sleep, my mind was made up: I was able to orgasm for the first time in a month, and it was while thinking of him.

The groundwork was set up from the start, it seemed. For he and I both. To this day we aren't sure how exactly it happened, but we got together quickly, both certain for one reason or another that we wanted to date each other. We discovered the reasons why as our relationship progressed, and I discovered more about him than I ever could have hoped to find. He fulfilled so many of my desires in a partner, things I never thought that I could find. The sexual attraction, as well, was there from the beginning – well, from our new beginning.

I knew early on that I wanted to have sex with this man. Some part of me told me I needed to wait, and work things out, but this was the old me – I had grown up, I had matured. I knew what decision I was making. The two years that I spent in a relationship being abstinent were enough to teach me that I had self control, I had convictions, and I would never do anything that I didn't want to do. Waiting until marriage had never made sense to me, but waiting had – and I finally knew why I was waiting. It wasn't that I feared giving up a part of myself, or any of those other "god's most precious gift" equations. What I wanted was to lose my virginity to someone who I loved, someone who no matter what – whether we succeeded or failed in the end – I would know that, at the time, I truly loved them and would always be able to say I was glad I lost my virginity to them.

I spent two and a half months with my new boyfriend before I told him I loved him, but I knew much sooner than that. I had always believed that love was something you had to work for – but I was wrong. Love is something that happens to you when you don't expect it. It is right, and it knows it is right, and you feel it as soon as it starts to manifest. Love can grow, but there's no need to force it. After all, if someone connects with you on a unique level, and you cherish them like no one else, there's no point in denying the reality that it's love. For me, it was. And there is no way to prove love exists until you're in it, but I finally am.

My requirements were finally met. I wanted to make sure I was in love before I had sex, and I wanted to make sure I would be safe about it. Because, of course, all that education had left its mark on me. A few sexual health tests (on both of our accounts), a Mirena placement, and condoms later, I was ready to have sex. My boyfriend and I had always had an open dialog about sex, but it was never pressuring. He reassured me that I could take as long as I wanted, and if we never had sex, he would still be with me. And though I am sure he is much happier in a sexual relationship, I really believed and still believe that he meant what he said.

The night we first exchanged those three little words, we had sex twice. I experienced a little physical discomfort at first, but it wore off even within the first time. Based on some of my friends' first time experiences, I got out of that one pretty lucky. Of my close friends, I was the third to lose my virginity. We all have similar upbringings and minds when it came to sex, so it's no surprise that it took us a while. But we're all very intelligent – and I have never once regretted my decision.

I remember my mom once telling me that a healthy sexual relationship is an important part of any intimate relationship, and for that reason it's not bad, evil, etc. I always kept that thought with me throughout my relationship experiences. To some degree, I knew she was right, but I wasn't practicing it – because I hadn't found the right relationship to put it into. Now that I have, I know there's no other way to go about it. If I had withheld sex from my current relationship, I would have been stifling its ability to grow and our ability to grow as a couple. But because it is a part, a very nice part I might add, we have not only grown sexually with each other, but we have grown closer on ever other level. We can literally share everything with one another – every part of our bodies and minds. And that is why sex for me is so healthy.

In this way, my boyfriend and I can grow and develop in any way we can imagine. Nothing is off limits between us, as long as it is between us. I feel that our bond and connection is illuminated by our sexual expression, which in many ways is new to both of us. But the important part about any sexual experience together is that it is unique. Sex between any two individuals is unique and unlike any other sexual experience. For some, it may be important to test the waters with many different individuals before you find the sea you can float in. For others, the process might replicate mine.

It goes without saying that I believe in monogamy, but I also believe these things are equally important for non-monogamous relationships. Although I personally wouldn't partake of one, I have nothing against them – it is yet another way to explore the self. But I think it is still important to take part in that exploration. If you shelter yourself off or hide for too long, there can be disastrous results, which I don't have time to get into. I think I was lucky.

mia oh my

2008-12-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

Although prior to now all of my sex toy reviews have been for Eden Fantasys, I was more than thrilled to get accepted to review for the kind folks over at Good Vibrations. If you haven't shopped at Good Vibes before, it's worth taking a look. Not only does the site have a handful of free guides on sexual health, education, and toy care, they also carry a good selection of adult toys and media. I was allowed to peruse this selection for a toy of my choosing to review, and it's no surprise that I chose Lelo's Mia. A little bird told me she happens to be quite a popular selection, but seeing as she had been sitting on my wish list since I first laid eyes on her, I couldn't pass the opportunity up.

Good Vibes has their review program under control, and after a short week of quick correspondence with their program manager, Mia arrived at my door just as quickly as the emails promised me. Of course, I was snuggled in bed when the mailman came a-knocking, and it was just my luck that the boyfriend had just got home from touring with his band and was there (and awake!) to answer the door for me. He brought the package back to me in bed, turned on my lamp, and with that twinkle of curiosity akin to a kid's on Christmas, he asked, "What is it?"

I had already told him I'd be expecting a few products to review in the mail, all of which he happily agreed to do whatever he could to help me try them out. He opened the box for me, dug around in the foam peanuts, and produced the purple box the encased our new Mia. Inside the purple cardboard was the beautiful black box that comes hand in hand with Lelo products (this I know thanks to Epiphora's Bo video), and sheathed inside said fancy box was Mia herself.

Lelo does not stop short after the fancy packaging of their products. Underneath the black, semi-translucent plastic tray holding Mia was all of her friends: a one year warranty, an instruction manual in five languages, a white satin pouch, and, drumroll – a USB connector cord. There are many reasons why Mia attracted me, but none more so than the fact that it recharges via your computer's USB port. Say goodbye to batteries and charging docks; Mia can recharge wherever your laptop can go. This was enough to get me out of bed. I wanted to charge my new toy up and put her to work ASAP.

Oh but wait. The kind folks at Lelo did that for me – Mia arrived already charged. My boyfriend climbed in bed with me since there was no longer any reason for either of us to be out of it. Let me dip into a little bit of cosmetic gushing. I chose the "deep rose" version of Mia, which is somewhere between magenta and purple. This color is absolutely gorgeous in person, and was another one of those things that attracted me to Mia. The main body of Mia is as long as my middle finger, growing an extra half a thumb when the angled cap is in place. When the cap is removed, Mia's USB is exposed. You can plug her directly into your computer, or you can plug her into the USB cord which will then plug into your computer's port. When Mia's cap is off, she doesn't function. But as soon as you place it back on (it is held on by suction, no screwing or twisting necessary), she is ready to go.

With only a slightly raised plus and minus sign to cycle through Mia's various settings, I was a little confused at first as to how I could get her to perform. Holding down the plus button gradually accelerates Mia from bottom to top speed, which, for a little vibrator, is much more powerful than I expected. The vibrations are not silent, but aren't the loudest out there – they are accompanied by a high-pitched hum which is almost soothing rather than irritating. If the toy can't be silent, at least it sounds like it is a high-tech, futuristic mechanism powered up for your pleasure. Back to that confusion. I would have been content if speed cycling was all Mia had to offer, but the box promised me more, and the manual quickly delivered.

Once Mia is at full speed, pressing and holding the plus button again shifted into pulsation mode. Another press quickens the pulsations, and yet another sends them into a fast flicking pulse. One last press puts Mia back at her regular steady vibration level, or you can return to steady vibration by pushing the minus button. For my first tryout, I decided to stick to the steady vibration mode.

Mia is absolutely the smoothest vibrator I own. She felt great against my skin as I swirled her tip around my clitoris and along my vulva. I kept her on low to arose myself into that age-old feeling of desire which my body has been missing for a while. Due to the medication I am on, orgasming and arousal have been very difficult for me lately. This is frustrating, because I still get turned on as much as ever, but the need to push it over the edge and the ability to do so have been out of reach. Though I didn't want to put too much pressure on Mia, I was secretly hoping that she would be able to help me catch my elusive orgasm.

The smooth, gentle vibrations were enough to get me stimulated, and I pressed the plus button to step her up to a mid-range setting. Finally, a gasp – my hips began to jerk in rhythm with the little vibrator, craving more of what she could give me. Burying Mia's tip against my clit, I continued a slight swirling motion which felt amazing. The minutes passed and I began to get discouraged. Mia felt wonderful, but I just didn't think it was going to happen. I couldn't blame the toy, but I couldn't give up either. Maybe she had it in her to give me what nothing else could lately. I kept at it, and slowly my body began to respond more and more to Mia's sensations. I finally felt the need to press her slowly up to her top speed. It didn't take long at this level to reach orgasm at last – and boy did it satisfy.

I was convinced. There has to be something good about Mia if she can put this cold girl in heat again. Unfortunately, the boy at my side fell asleep while I was at this, and missed the first orgasm I'd had in two weeks. But, having won my seal of approval, this first experience would certainly not be Mia's last with me. Though she is small and discreet, she is powerful enough to win my body over. When I showed my boyfriend what he'd been missing out on by pressing Mia to his sensitive flesh, he found it at times to almost be too intense – though that didn't stop me from continuing to excite and tease him. I have since also become quite a fan of the pulsation settings on Mia, which come in handy for that extra edge when you are nearing orgasm.

To top it all off, Mia is easy to clean and the manual she comes with will even advise you how to clean her. There's nothing I don't like about this vibe – even the bluish white LED light which signifies whether or not Mia is on or charging is different and attractive. At times, I felt that I needed Mia to be a little bit stronger to reach orgasm, but, one must understand that my body is a little bit more picky than most right now. It says a lot that Mia could break through my medication's side effects and give me an orgasm at all, and she is clearly my favorite now when I need help to reach my climax.

adding to my collection of dog leashes

2008-11-23T16:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you don't always get what you want. I wanted to try a pair of waterproof ties for restraining purposes, but it seems the fates had it in store that I would get leather ties instead. Not only is leather not at all waterproof, but it is one of those things that is uh... easy to find. For the cuffs I have, all I need is something that would attach to a D-Ring and I am in retrained city. Unfortunately, the sex industry thinks it is necessary to market ties explicitly for this purpose, such as the Spartacus Tie-Down pair which I got to review for EF. What about good old fashioned rope? What about any of the various things I have around my house?

Alright, so you do get two for thirty dollars, which isn't a horrible price, but the last time I checked, you could get a comparable product at your local pet store. The tie-downs I received were, for all practical purposes, just like dog leashes. The only difference was that they don't have a loop at the end. They are quite long, though, which is nice. I found reviewing these ties a challenge because I was very unimpressed/uninterested. There's not much to say about them. They do exactly what they say - they tie down. But you could use many other things instead of them, so what's the point? I don't know. I needed something for tying purposes and I have it now, so that is a win. But the question of how I am going to get tied up in the shower is still unanswered thus far.

If you're interested in the review, it can be found here.

submissive bondage kit - part two

2008-11-18T14:28:00.000-08:00

It's kind of difficult to write three separate reviews for products that you used all together. Now, with most toys, you can use a few at a time and still get the sense of what a specific one is all about. But with restraints... they are all serving to restrain a different part of you, and that naturally blends together. I could have taken the easy way out and wrote a single review just for this blog. But no. It's not like it does much for me to post reviews that I wasn't assigned to EF - it's just that friendly little OCD inside of me that says "you have it, review it."

As I set down to do a single piece review - the ankle restraints - I realized it was coming out more positive than my review of the kit. Because the kit fails as a kit. The ankle restraints win as ankle restraints. Funny ol' world, innit? But then I got to the fun part - the "experience" section. Which, of course, is a continuation of the experience section from the last portion. That's what you'll get. The review is over here.

A small amount of pressure on the small of my back told me that I was supposed to lay flat on my stomach. I opened my eyes against the blindfold, but no light shone in. A tug on the leash attached to my collar reaffirmed what he wanted - I was to get down. Sliding my arms forward, I let my naked stomach press into the floor, my back arched as I completed the move from all-fours to prostrate. I could hear him moving around me. His hands brushed over my ankles, across the cuffs, as he pulled the closer together. I heard a snap. Suddenly, my arms were jerked behind me, at the same time that I felt the cold metal and leather of what I knew to be the hogtie against my bare ass. My wrists were clamped to it as my ankles already were. There was no way I was getting out of this one.

submissive bondage kit - part one

2008-11-13T18:06:00.000-08:00

I like things to be matching. I am a fan of beautiful things that have uniformity and are smooth. That was why when I began searching for my first set of full restraints, with these things in mind, I decided upon a set from Kinklab. My favorite color is red, and luckily that's not hard to find in a sex accessory. But I wanted the works - wrists, ankles, collar, blindfold, and hogtie. What do you know, I can get all of these things from Kinklab! Though I had to purchase three separate things for what I felt should have been a single, solid kit, I was not disappointed with said purchase.

Since I bought the pieces off of EF, I intend to review all of them. Because the pieces are separate, the reviews will be broken down into three parts. The first part, discussing the Submissive Bondage kit (collar, leash, blindfold, and wrist cuffs) can be found here. I'm not going to post the technical stuff from it here. After a sexy discussion with my boyfriend, he has encouraged me to describe how we use our toys in a more intimate fashion for this blog. Bare with me as I attempt to find my place in erotic prose, and see if I want to delve into it or not.

Calmly, I wrapped the black nylon portions of my cuffs around my wrists, tightening them securely and tugging to make sure I wouldn't be able to slip free. My boyfriend took up the red leather straps sewn onto them and buckled them securely. Holding my hair up obediently, he fastened the collar around my neck. "Get on your hands and knees," he told me. Clipping the smooth, red leash to my collar, he jerked my head up as he stood behind me, admiring my naked and bound form. Pulling me closer by force, he slipped the blindfold over my eyes and moved around to the front of me. With my sight gone, I could only wait in trembling anticipation for whatever he would give me. I struggled - but the restraints held. I was completely his to do with as he pleased.

More to come as the rest of the reviews unfold.

do want

2008-11-13T00:13:00.001-08:00

Anyone have $250 they want to donate to me? I just found what I want for Christmas, thanks to Epiphora:

Introducing Trixiebelle.
If my last post didn't convince you that I like anal toys, then me explicitly stating so should. That's one plus Trixiebelle has covered. Secondly, it's glass - and pretty, swirly glass. And finally - it has a fox tail attached. I've never explored any sort of animal fantasies, but considering my favorite animal is the canine, how wouldn't I be adorable with a fox tail? There is only one answer to that. I would only be super adorable with a fox tail. Especially one that pleasures me at the same time that it makes me lolcat cute.

back where i can find you, to crawl inside you

2008-11-12T00:05:00.000-08:00

One of the many new changes over at the Eden Fantasys review program is that we can now do buyout reviews. Instead of waiting for an item to free up, we can fork over a review and money for the toy we want at a discounted price. Normally I would be willing to say free trumps out over discounts, but when the item you want has 18 reviews already, you take what you can get. So I tried the buyout option, and was quite satisfied.

Even though I haven't done much with the Silicone Passion Flower since I got it - many months ago - I had been itching to get my hands on an anal toy that was more substantial. Especially after I went through the trouble of finally reviewing the SPF, I was reminded of how I pined for something that would a) actually stay in my ass and b) be able to be felt. At all. I scoured the sex toy world and finally settled on the Ryder butt plug. As far as rave reviews go, I couldn't have given this one a better show of appreciation. Since it arrived, I have tried it out five times, and each one was a success. I even managed to insert it without any lube - an amazing feat.

What can I say about Ryder that hasn't already been said? This is a wonderful product that lived up to all of my expectations, and I highly recommend it to anyone shopping for a good--not just decent, but a really good butt plug. Though all the colors of Ryder are inciting, I opted for the metallic dark purple--which is even more attractive in person, and is definitely pleasing to the eye for both sexes (my boyfriend chose the color). The smooth silicone (yes, pure silicone--able to be 100% sterilized, boilable, bleachable, and non-toxic) feels absolutely amazing and has no odor whatsoever. The great thing about Tantus their genuine commitment to sex toys. If you're tired of seeing "for novelty use only" on your sex toy packaging, then you will be thrilled by Tantus' statement that "A toy from Tantus is meant to be used, and with minimal care can last a lifetime."

The review, in full, can be found here.

Not surprisingly, the Ryder didn't simply satisfy me. I always want more, more, more. A bigger more substantial anal toy is in my future, I feel, but I am not going to stop enjoying this happy purchase any time soon.

hand-crafted antiques

2008-11-11T01:48:00.000-08:00

Another piece of my original poetry:

they are stacking tables: a new carpentry
where one fits perfectly underneath the other.
each of their four legs sink inevitably lower
into a quicksand of quilted coil springs,
the age old testimony proving true
wherein the power lies at the top.

the hand prints are not in the mattress
but in the gentle curves of hips, thighs,
and waists – smoothed flesh formed into
hills and valleys – watch each finger drown
in the dry riverbeds; the smalls of her back,
curved and offered before him.

each film of clothing that once stuck to skin
has been shed in concentric circles on the floor.
he neatly applies pressure, as if to a wound,
expelling her breath and buckling her stance.
held up by a tense and shaking forearm,
she is not allowed to fall – resistance is neither
possible nor desired – and to ensure this,
the hand upon her stomach slides (with ease,
the skin there is so smooth) until it rests,
pulsating like the both of them, between her thighs.

"i will make you beautiful," he whispers,
as if there were a choice for her to make.
but no one doubts aesthetics, no one doubts
which hand it is that takes the lead.
he turns her beneath him, hands and eyes alike
praising the body which he pulls himself against,
"do you doubt it?" he asks. "can you doubt it?"

and if those hands were clasped,
one could not be discerned from the other,
such a perfect fit, how one does fit exclusively
underneath the other! two fine antiques,
placed in opposite corners of the shop,
and still one was smart enough to see
they fit entirely too well together.

there is no such thing as power
between the dominant and subservient;
the mutual exchange comes from within
and without; and he does not demand
what will be given, what will be taken.
he decides instead how hard to push,
how far to pull, and to what degree
he will reign her desires until her very body
strains to meet his out of sheer necessity.

he has unlocked the secret of the intellectual,
whose only thoughts are thoughts alone,
and so he must turn her another way -
only then, when he has commanded her mind
in such a way that she covets the carnal
(and there is no space in her head for anything
like cognition), only then will he give in.

he makes her work for her rewards,
his hands ride on her hips, she him,
his fingertips feeling the motion of her thighs
just as his own work with them.
and nothing but her hair is tossed aside,
each steel colored iris looking forward wide.

two perfect tables, stacked one atop the other,
shifted three times until they splintered,
utterly useless, hinges shaking in instability.
but should they never stand again
would matter little to either of them,
still pulsating alone are their rapid hearts,
naturally some bit of them is still entwined.

the good in the bad

2008-10-28T19:41:00.000-07:00

Now, before I continue onto my next assigned EF review, I'm going to back track quite a few months. After I submitted my very first review to EF, they sent off another assignment for me to review. But because they went through their reformatting shortly thereafter, all evidence of this transaction got lost in the woodwork, and I couldn't submit a review for my received item until their new system lets you review any ole thing, designated or not. The item was so hilarious to me, however, that I couldn't NOT write a review for it. It involved a considerable amount of retrospection, but combined with my new knowledge of all things sexual, it turned out to be my favorite review yet.

Ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, the Silicone Passion Flower:

Because this was my first anal toy, I can't say this review comes from someone with prior anal play experience - but I know enough to realize that this vibe just does not cut it. I was a little hesitant at first, not knowing where to begin. I had done my reading on the pros and cons of anal stimulation, and I was fairly up to speed with how to play safe. So, I freed the silicone passion flower from its packaging, and regarded it with a curious rather than anxious eye. Now, this toy is cute - the lotus petal base is adorable, and it almost makes you want to set it out as a decoration. Though there is no denying the phallic shape, so I would recommend against that if your parents are coming over. The silicone is soft and pliable, and the petals bend easily. That may or may not come in handy later.

Here's a plus about the flower: it comes with batteries! TEN OF THEM. don't get too excited though, it takes five of them at a time to work, and that's not a good sign - they are watch batteries. now, I'm sorry, but no matter how many watch batteries you give me, they aren't going to create a powerful enough vibration to bring me to orgasm. Even knowing this, I tried to remain undaunted. I ran the flower along my clit, and it worked fairly nice for that, but I've had better. This toy is much too small for any worthwhile vaginal insertion, and the flowers would prevent it from getting any farther than its own length - so don't bother.

(Continue reading the review here).

Not only was this review so much fun to write, but the toy itself actually did do some good things for me. It got me introduced to the world of anal stimulation, which I had never ventured to before. And even though it fell short of my desires, it created a few new ones that I'm quite thankful for. By now I feel safe in saying I'm willing to try any sexual avenue open to me.

here's to vibrator #304 - it should be perfect by then, right?

2008-10-23T17:45:00.000-07:00

My second review! Oh joy! "What?" you say, "I have already read quite a few of your reviews! You can't possibly be on your second only now!?" To that I answer the following: after almost a whole year past the date I first joined the Eden Fantasys reviewing program, I finally got my second item to review. And trust me, this had nothing to do with me - I worked over time at trying to get an item sooner. And I would have, had not the entire world been against me. But let us push those things aside. The new reviewing system over at EF is quite enjoyable, and I am happy to be one of their reviewers.

Though it wasn't my first choice, the item headed my way was the Doc Johnson "Dial-a-dream #61." Now, I'm not sure just how many numbers Doc Johnson has, but if they can't get more creative than to name vibrators based on their denomination, I'm automatically a little put off. What makes 61 so much better than 60? Did it really take you 61 tries to get it right? Well, as I was soon to find out, no. They haven't gotten it right yet. But that didn't mean that this vibrator wasn't enjoyable. The ridges, the ridges, the ridges. That's a texture you are not going to want to go your whole life without experiencing.

If you're tired of opening packages with porn stars on the cover, tastelessly showing off your new toy (and sometimes using it, depending on how lucky you are!), the the Dial-a-Dream will automatically be up your alley. The packaging is simple, clear plastic (so you can actually see the toy, not a picture of it), with cute pink swirl designs along the edges. I must say, it was a very refreshing change of decor--no offense, Jenna Jameson. The packaging also proclaims a few perks about the toy: waterproof; now virtually silent; silicone; all new dial control. How very helpful.

Thinking these things had accurately prepared me for what to expect, I settled in to try the toy out. First of all, let me recommend the fuchsia version over the pink--this color is deep and vibrant, and I personally found it very alluring. The pink version is... a little bland, though I haven't seen it in person. Now, back to those "perks" I mentioned. This toy is very easy to clean, even with all the ridges. It has that smooth, soft silicone feel, and is waterproof like the box claims. Because the toy is TPR silicone, it's still porous and not able to be sterilized. So yay Silicone - boo TPR. And, unfortunately, I took issue with their other two pronouncements. This "all new dial" made me think the old dial must have been really horrible, because it certainly wasn't helpful. There are tiny raised edges on the dial by which you are supposed to turn it to get from low vibrations to high. Unfortunately, they are very hard to get a hold of, and turning the dial is quite hard. It's location is good, at the end of a slightly curved "handle" section of the toy, but you need two hands to turn the dial with any success.

(Continue reading the review here).

Between the two traditional vibes I now own, I'm still going to have to place my allegiance with Splash - but perhaps that has more to do with the memories than the experience. The Dial-a-Dream has only had the chance for solo use, and though it definitely makes a lonely night go by more smoothly, I'd prefer for someone else to be turning the dial.

frei zu sein

2008-09-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

Spending a summer in Europe can do some amazing and frightening things. But of all the experiences and sights that I was privy to, there are a few that stick out and stay with me, one of which I cannot help but share. I stayed in Frankfurt, Germany with an expatriate American living in Germany and her German boyfriend. One night at dinner, while we sat around a Bembel of Apfelwein, the energetic German began talking, as he was prone to do, about the problems with American society. One of these was the American sexual education system, at which point I had to speak up - to agree with him.

He explained that when he was growing up, his parents told him very frankly about what sex was, how it worked, and all of those frightening questions which American parents dread having to sit down their children to talk to. There was no mention of birds or bees or other metaphors - it was the straight up talk for him, and apparently for all the Germans he knew. He said that his parents told him, "You are smart. Be safe." And left him to his own devices.

In America, it's very unlikely for a teenage boy to be allowed to have a girl over with the door to his room shut. In Germany, for this particular German, he could do whatever he wanted, because his parents knew he was well educated about safe sex and preventing STDs and unwanted pregnancy. For this reason, he DID make smart choices. He did not get anyone pregnant or end up in a situation that so many Lifetime movies are about.

To this, all I can say is - why? Why can't America be this way? Why can't sexuality be free and openly discussed, so that children learn to embrace and love every part of themselves, instead of feeling guilty for having natural, god-given urges? Why must they feel that they are wrong to want to engage in sexual activity, when after the onset of puberty, our bodies are meant to do so? Throughout this conversation, I felt enraged and immensely happy. Nothing can erase the guilt I felt about my own sexuality growing up, but I am very thankful that European (or at least German) children today don't have to experience the same thing.

i've been waiting a long time

2008-07-01T13:16:00.000-07:00

I mentioned earlier that I had never experienced penetration prior to sex. The lack of a traditional vibrator in my slowly growing collection was a fact I had long hoped to turn around, but the prolonged delay in Eden Fantasys getting their new review system up and functioning left me waiting anxiously and with no relief in sight. In fact, a series of complications with addresses, products, and said new system delayed my reintroduction into the reviewing community by a considerable number of months. But I overstep my purpose. If I couldn't convince myself to buy a vibrator for myself, I thought of a better idea: buy it in honor of my boyfriend's birthday, for he and I to use together. Win-win!

Now, just because I finally decided to throw in the towel and buy a damn vibe, it didn't mean I was willing to fork out the money necessary to get one that was up to my highest standards. However, browsing by price, I found a trio of new vibrators that were well within my price range. Thoroughly excited (which, by the way, is what you are supposed to feel about your sex toys), I committed to purchasing the Fun Vibes "Splash." Needless to say, the toy got its debut on my boyfriend's birthday, and has made many a happy appearance afterward.

Let me tell you - I was excited when Splash came in the mail for me. I had ordered it as a birthday present for my boyfriend, who was curious about adding sex toys to our already exciting love life. Damn EdenFantasy's quick delivery - I had to wait a whole two weeks before he could open his gift and we could try it out. Here's a few of the reasons Splash excited me, and why I was so anxious to play with it: I'm a biased sex toy user, and I'm partial to things that are easy to clean, safe to use, and aren't going to cost me an arm and a leg. For that reason, Pure Silicone is my choice material. So, I was a little put off by the fact that Splash is TPR Silicone - BUT WAIT. This particular vibrator is non-porous! That's a huge plus. Now you can get a good vibe for a cheap price, and that is exactly what Splash is - a very inexpensive, but very rewarding, vibrator. I am also partial to the smooth texture of silicone, and with the soft Splash, you just want to touch it all day.

Aside from materials, Splash comes from a line that was fairly recently introduced to EF, and each vibrator in this set has its own unique color and shape. Of all of them, Splash is the cutest. The wide tip which narrows before getting wider again at the "waves" swirling around the bottom is not only a nice design, but I had my suspicions it would feel good to. And boy did it. The raised waves create a great sensation, especially if you twist the vibe around while it is fully inserted.

(Continue reading the review here).

from underneath

2008-06-17T01:08:00.000-07:00

... there are not less than
one and seven million
different muscles contracting
within a single eyelid,
-- fluttering open or closed
to aim its soul-bearing focus
directly unto me.
and each lash which interlocks
to conceal the patina of green
which laces copper rings
is yet another scrap of you
that i cling to.

{ - - with me digging into you,
you shake and flicker softly ;
you are such a strange predator
who ignores pain in pursuit
of its greatest catch. - - }

long labored is our breathing,
where i will shepherd you from
one, long blinding city into
another (and there we will make homes
as we have never done before
in each other, and when we return
we will run our fingers
through our own hair
and wonder why the other's is not there.)

and for the world, i would have
you fitted to my side, pulling arms
liked blankets over me, wrapped in
those thousand million muscles.
and i would turn in hope for a view ;
one which as i look toward the sky,
all i see is you.

A glimpse at some of my own poetry. Usually my poems have the following traits: open format; long; little to no rhyme; sexual undertones; vagueness. This particular poem happens to harness a little more sexuality than usual, so I figured it merited a posting here. The title is, of course, "from underneath."

secrets revealed

2008-05-21T00:52:00.000-07:00

I'm going to come right out and say it: the secret to good sex is a good lubricant. This should really be a no-brainer, since the body's natural response to sex IS to create lubrication - both in the male and female anatomies. Even if you think that you are well endowed in the lubrication department, and have no need for outside help, I advise you to rethink your cockiness. A good lubricant can not only enhance the feeling of sex, but the duration for which that feeling lasts. I'm not the first to say this, and I won't be the last. The trouble with lubricants is that there are many types, and many brands. So how do you find a good one?

I'm a fan of water-based lubes. There are a few simple reasons why: you can add a bit of water to make the lube lighter if you want; they tend to not be sticky; they come in various tastes and colors; you can use them with silicone toys. And maybe, just maybe, they remind me of water-based markers which were so much fun to draw with as a kid - and you always feel good about something that has "water-based" in the title. What's wrong with water? NOTHING. Note: my drink of choice is a cold glass of water, no ice.

My favorite lube so far has been System JO's Premium. But, let's drum it up for my review of a close second:

This lubricant is definitely one of the better choices out there. System JO makes a wide assortment of personal lubricants. I have tried many of them, and have been pleased with each. I am personally very fond of water-based lubricants because of their versatility for being used with or without condoms, and on sex toys. The consistency of the JO Warming variety is perfect – it is neither too thick, nor too thin. It has a very silky feel which is light to the touch, and it does not become sticky or tacky even after extended use. It comes off the skin surprisingly easily. There was virtually no need to clean any excess lubricant off my skin after use, and yet the lubricant was long-lasting and did not need to be reapplied during intercourse (even when my partner and I changed positions and styles frequently).

(View whole review here).

I wrote that review on the fly, just because I wanted to let someone out there know that JO does lubricants right. Not that it's a secret or anything, but seriously guys. It may look a little more expensive that your KY His & Hers, but I am willing to bet it's worth every penny.

i hope your headboard is handcuff compatible

2008-04-30T00:16:00.000-07:00

When I say that the Bunny Hopper was my first sex toy, that's technically a lie. A year prior to that, I went into my local Spartacus shop and purchased a handy pair of dual-locking handcuffs. You never know when you're going to need a good set of restraints, I always say. When I was in high school, my friends and I had a trend of creating our own beaded bracelets using an assortment of cute beads coupled with those cubed ones which have various letters of the alphabet on them. Of course, ours didn't say BEST FRIENDS FOREVER or I ♥ JOHNNY. We got a little more creative. One of my friends made me one which said I ♥ S & M. Well, that has always been true.

I am a submissive. This is natural to me, seeing as my everyday self is fairly dominant. I often take charge in situations not because I want to be in charge, but because I know I can do it and see a degree of incompetence in others. But when it comes to relationships, I have always wanted a 50/50 balance of assertion, and in the bedroom, I get weak in the knees at the thought of being completely under the control of someone else. In order to get a reviewing position at Eden Fantasys, I had to submit a sample review. It was just my luck that they carry the Spartacus cuffs I own. I'm going to let you in on a secret: this review is inspired more by my own fantasies than actual experience, though there are a great deal of "facts" which only come out of it through use.

For both serious bondage fetishists or couples looking for a little restraint, this pair of handcuffs (Dual lock handcuffs) satisfies every need. The cuffs' sturdy, sleek design comes in both metallic and black, though I prefer the black design as it not only looks more attractive but they feel as good as they look – the black finish prevents the slippery feeling of the standard metal version. These are no discount or cheap handcuffs – they are strong and non-pliable, creating an appropriate feeling of security or helplessness desirable by the cuffed partner. At the same time that they feel restricting and binding, they are very safe. The dual-lock accounts for not only locking the wrists inside the cuffs, but also locking the moving mechanism within them. What this amounts to is that once the cuffs are sized around the wrist, they stay that size so that rough or jostling play will not alter them and injure the wrist.

I would not recommend these handcuffs for couples looking for an extremely light or cute form of bondage. For extended wear, the cuffs do begin to press upon the wrists and can become painful if the wearer's body is moved abruptly or continuously. These cuffs are best for a couple who is desiring a little bit of pain for pleasure, though by no means do they cause any excruciating sensations or lasting wounds. They are secure and durable, with a rotating chain to allow some movement of the hands.

(Read the rest of the review here).

For all the various thrills that can decorate your handcuffs, I seriously don't ever want any pair other than these.

from above you how i sank into your soul

2008-04-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

Occasionally, I cannot help but think that timing is everything. I tried my first sex toy five months before I first tried vaginal intercourse. And, though that time frame is comparatively small, I had no idea sex was anywhere in my near future when my first sex toy review assignment arrived in the mail. I had never inserted an object inside of myself, but, just my luck, this was an external vibrator. I knew it wouldn't stay that way forever, but my lack of experience wasn't for a lack of excitement. I was four months shy of turning twenty-one when my virginity was "lost" (don't get me started on the terminology of losing one's virtue/chastity/soul), but I must say that I didn't spend those prior 248 months on earth removed from my sexuality.

When I was a kid, I didn't know that what I was doing was masturbation. No one cared to inform me about sexual anatomy or practices until the fifth grade, when after a brief health class on the subject I learned that one of my friends was already on her period. I am sure that, prior to this point, I had learned some things on the subject. I remember taking baths with my brother. Showering with my mother. All of that sort of "general knowledge build up." I was by no means a sheltered child. But none of it felt relevant until that day in fifth grade. When suddenly I was a sexual being, and others around me were even more qualified to say such things.

I had a collection of VHS tapes in the entertainment center in my living room. One day, when I had stayed home from school sick, I was going through them trying to find something to watch. Favorites always included The Lion King and Bambi. At the very back I noticed a tape I hadn't paid attention to before. Forgive me if I don't know the title, but it was an informative program for teens on sex. My parents had never mentioned it to me before, but somehow I knew I was supposed to watch it. I finally learned that the good sensation I felt after touching myself was an orgasm, that the process was masturbation, that it was normal and many people did it. I had never felt ashamed of what I did, but I also knew that it was something I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Now I felt accepted somehow.

That would be the last time I felt good about learning about sexuality. As a freshman in high school, I fantasized daily about having sex with a boy four years older than me. He was the first boy who I wanted to have sex with. I dated a boy in my own grade for a total of three days before remaining single until my first kiss at sixteen. The real, bonafide sexual education I received throughout middle and high school was a joke. It was about as "abstinence only education" as you can get. The horrors of STDs, unwanted pregnancy, and the virtues of waiting until marriage was all I heard no matter where I went. My parents were less inclined to these ideas, but the only conversation with my mom that comes to mind was her telling me when she lost her virginity, that she had done it for the wrong reasons, and that I should do it for the right ones.

In this way, I was set up for a life typical to many Americans: sex is something to feel guilty about, not get pleasure out of. My first boyfriend lasted four months, and never progressed past the petting I was already used to. My second relationship lasted two years, and still I didn't cross my own line. I wanted it to be right. I wanted it to be with the right person. And no one was the right person. I very nearly thought no one ever would be. About to resign myself to a life of "settling," I stumbled into true love, and true sexual attraction. I was immediately glad I hadn't settled. Glad I had chosen that ridiculous abstinence path. But waiting until marriage? That had never been in my agenda. I was waiting until love. Sex is an emotional connection as much as it is a physical one. And I know, even without trying the opposite, that sex is amazing for me because of that connection.

So that's where I stand now. But let's move back a few steps. That sex toy. That review. Since I was already very familiar with pleasuring myself, there was always the allure of trying toys. But, of course, as a college student, there was never the extra funding to do so. When my friend clued me in that edenfantasys.com was looking for competent writers to review their sex toys, I signed myself on up. If I was going to dip my toes in the water, I may as well jump on in. Sex toys of all shapes and sizes - here I come... right? Well, I have to admit. I was a little bit nervous. Without ever having experienced penetration, I was worried about pain. I was worried about harmful substances. I spent a good few weeks researching the latter, and vowed to try and start small and work my way up with the toys. Luckily (...?), the site I had just joined went through a complete revamp of its reviewing system after I joined, and didn't send me any new products until after I'd had a live human inside me. But, discovering an open attitude toward sex toys with my new partner, my life as a sex toy reviewer was only just about to get interesting. After all, two is always better than one, right?

Before we get to all that, however, humor me. Because this is my designated sex blog, it's going to be filled with sexual things. Namely, my product reviews. And what better place is there to start than the beginning? Let's see that first review I wrote. And I say "humor me" because I am truly amused by its novice quality.

Though it may be small and discrete at first glance, the Bunny Hopper is definitely not a toy that can easily be kept a secret. This, unfortunately, is not a compliment. Initially, there are a few aspects of the toy which make it cumbersome, the most noticeable being the volume of the vibration. Unless pressure is applied over it entirely, the humming is loud enough that I felt confident my neighbors in the apartment next door could hear it. As a toy which seems to appeal mostly to couples' usage, this humming should not be much of a problem. But if you are considering it for discrete purposes, it may not fit the bill.

As a 'hands free toy,' the vibrator (in the shape of a bunny) is suspended on a waist strap and two thigh straps. These adjust easily and comfortably, but seem to hit at somewhat of an awkward angle. The straps would extend to fit most sizes, and are very stretchy, but seem a bit flimsy to me. Some adjustment is needed to sit the bunny over the clitoris, and over-enthusiastic motion while standing tends to cause it to move out of its position. However, while laying down it stays in place well, and even though the bunny seems to have a rather awkward look on his face, the feeling it produces is genuinely a good one.

(Continue reading the review here)

Even though you might be discouraged by that, I hope you take an appropriate aside to laugh, and maybe be interested enough to ever read my writing again. Because I just can't keep things inside me. Wait, scratch that. There are a lot of things I prefer to keep inside me. But you will have to keep reading to find out about those.

Literary Directory

2008-04-20T15:00:00.002-07:00

Significant journal reflections, poetry, or prose is cataloged here, by category and in reverse chronological order:

♥ Erotic Prose

new york times - day one
A romantic, sexual rendezvous with my boyfriend in New York city while he's on tour. Part one.

the warmth that i'm weaving is for you alone
A non-fictional experience of hot shower sex, and surprise fainting.

since we've no place to go
Trying out new lingerie after watching BDSM clips makes for good sex.

a night in
A non-fictional retelling of a night between my boyfriend and I. Written from his perspective.

♥ Erotic Poetry

hand-crafted antiques
Sexual experience and submissive/dominant interplay

from underneath
A sexual experience through a lover's eyes

♥ Journal Entries

getting lucky
The story of losing my virginity, and why I chose to do so when I did.

frei zu sein
Disappointments in American sexual education, as compared to Germans.

from above you how i sank into your soul
A brief history of my sexual awakening, and how I became a sex toy reviewer.

Review Directory

2008-04-20T15:00:00.001-07:00

In reverse chronological order, items I have reviewed:

♥ Ella by Lelo G-Spot Dildo

♥ Magic Wand by Hitachi External Vibrator

♥ Cherry Jaguar Harness by Aslan Leather Strap-On Harness

♥ Scribble Swirl G-Spot Wonder by Phallix G-Spot Dildo

♥ Adult Toy Box by For Your Nymphomation Toy Storage

♥ Mia by Lelo Discrete Vibrator

♥ Tie Downs Pair by Spartacus Restraints

♥ Ankle Cuffs by Kinklab Restraints

♥ Submissive Bondage Kit by Kinklab BDSM Kit

♥ Ryder by Tantus Butt Plug

♥ Silicone Passion Flower by California Exotic Anal Probe Vibrator

♥ Dial-a-dream #61 by Doc Johnson Traditional Vibrator

♥ Splash by Fun Vibes Traditional Vibrator

♥ JO Warming Lubricant by System JO Lubricant

♥ Dual Lock Handcuffs by Spartacus Restraints

♥ Bunny Hopper by California Exotic Strap-On Vibrator

About Me

2008-04-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

In this section I do not attempt to answer the philosophical question "who am I." Instead, I would like to provide you with information about my world. My likes, dislikes, and the self as far as I have discovered it. I don't want to bore anyone with useless details, so I welcome comments on this little bio - ask me questions of any kind about myself, and I will happily add the answers to this post.

I'm 21 years old, a heterosexual female in a relationship of almost a year. I stand 5' 5.5" and weigh between 125-130 lbs. I believe in a lot of things, but a specific god is not one of them. I support president elect Obama, but my views lean farther to the left than his do. I have very few vices: I don't drink coffee or alcohol, don't smoke or otherwise ingest intoxicants, and a severe medical/needle phobia certainly prevents shooting any of them into my bloodstream. I am a vegetarian, but my one addiction is to cheese. Sorry, vegans. My only other vice is that I always want to be physically connected with my boyfriend, but I don't see that as a bad thing at all. In fact, it's the best damn vice out there. I have eclectic tastes in literature, movies, and music, and I'm always looking for something new to love.

I'm a person who is in love. I believe in sexuality as something illuminating, passionate, and right. I disagree with any person or program that stifles women or sexuality, as I feel I was for the majority of my life. I am exploring more about myself now than I ever have, and a sexual awakening and openness has allowed me to reach that point. Still, for me sex is tied to love, and while I respect every form sexuality can take, monogamy is the path for me. I believe that I can discover new and exciting sexual depths by placing my faith in a loving relationship which fosters them.

I enjoy the perks of late night dinner dates at Denny's and brushing my boyfriend's long flowing hair - he is the ultimate Barbie doll. We wear matching rings. I live with him on the weekends, and pine for him during the week when I live two hours away in order to complete my Bachelors degrees. I keep to myself a lot, but crave the company of my close friends and family often. I have dedicated years of my life to helping and owning animals, who I often find I have more in common with than my human companions. My boyfriend and I are the proud parents of a Dwarf/Mini Rex rabbit named Pancake and a Guinea Pig named Harlot. When we get our own place, my true love - a Bengal cat named Satan - will move out of my mom's house and into mine. My favorite actor is Klaus Kinski. My favorite color is red.